My mom will threaten me whenever I give valid points in an argument.
35846 upvotes
895 comments
powerpuffvegan
1 week ago
My mom will threaten me whenever I give valid points in an argument.
Dad_B0T
1
1 week ago

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pm_me_about_ur_day2
4571
1 week ago

Holy shit why can't they accept arguments. They just resort to "don't talk back to me" or in this case "stop with your bitchiness (what even is that word)" im sorry you have to deal with that

powerpuffvegan
1835
1 week ago

it is extremely infuriating

SchmurffleLerpin
923
1 week ago

There's multiple reasons, I know with parents like mine, they refuse to listen to children because they dont know what they're talking about. I'm 25 now and my mom will finally accept my arguments, but when I was 16 there was no argument. She always had to be right.

Some parents are old fashioned and believe the parent is always right and you should respect them even if they're wrong. Disagreeing= disrespect I guess.

Other parents are just crazy.

Zena-Xina
497
1 week ago

I'm 22 and my dad still won't listen to my arguments. He will just immediately shut me down saying I'm just "arguing for arguing's sake" or some other dumb reason.

Like, excuse me, no, I have a disagreement and I'd like to tell you why and maybe get you to see it from side with extremely valid points but he literally never wants to hear anything.

It drives me absolutely insane.

Kymaeraa
238
1 week ago

My mom will start an argument with me and have no good points, then just say 'whatever' and start the same argument the next day

230409abc
134
1 week ago

This is why I don't get family tbh.

I never really had one for multiple reasons. Moved out at 16 (24 now) and never looked back. I only talk to my brother now and that's once in a while, just because we live incredibly far apart, otherwise I'd see/talk to him more often.

But the whole concept of family over everything is so strange to me. I just couldn't put up with people who constantly argue with me for no real reason or just to put me down etc (just as an example here). I instantly cut people out of my life if they are just a negative driving force. That's not saying I just blank people, I just understand healthy Vs unhealthy relationships.

What I'm trying to say is that what I see on Reddit, where people say their family emotionally manipulates, abuses or neglects them, just leaves me wondering "why do people put up with it" especially if they are older and have moved out.

Don't get me wrong, I imagine having this perfect family where everyone loves each other and mom/dad are their children's best friend must be bliss but I can't even imagine that, it's so foreign to me.

thugg420
75
1 week ago

Concepts that you learn as a child tends to be more prominent in your adult life. If you had a family basically brainwash you from a young age to see them as the most important thing no matter what, you might end up still believing that, even if they treat you like you're unimportant. You get a large population like the US to validate the family views and suddenly you become the weird one for not be willing to be damaged by your own blood

underhunter
41
1 week ago

...or you grow up with a family that actually is extremely supportive and treats each other with respect. This is literally all about anecdotes. Op was raised by a terrible family from the sound of it, so obviously it shapes their view on it.

Cafrann94
15
1 week ago

You’re totally right about that, but I think the comment you replied to was referring to situations where the parents are garbage but the adult child puts up with it. Which is an incredibly complicated situation, but I think he explained a possible facet of it pretty well.

pm_me_pet_pictures2
8
1 week ago

A lot of the comments you see on here in support of abusive family members are from people with healthy supportive family, who literally can’t comprehend someone’s family not being that way.

thugg420
3
1 week ago

Youve completely missed the point of my arguement. Obviously being raised by a good respectful family will dramatically increase the likelihood that an individual views family as "good" for them in terms of value. However, if an individual is treated poorly and raised to believe that family MUST be important, they will have a more difficult time convincing themselves that family is unimportant. Now, im sure even someone like you could come up with a few hypotheticals where family being unimportant could actually help someone. When youve come up with a few, draw a conceptual line where you would choose to make family unimportant. How severe of mistreatment could you handle? And better yet, for how long before you decide that family is hurting you rather than helping you.

LadyLandscaper8
2
1 week ago

As a person who is essentially the person you described...wanting family to be important as well as needing to say good bye. It's extremely hard to fully describe, but one day it just clicks. You realize that people who can love you in a healthy way won't be so detrimental on your physical health, your mental health, your marriage, your ability to keep up in life. Sometimes it takes a wake up call (like a rocky marriage because of the crazy parents), or just taking a break for a while and realizing you dont clench your teeth as much, the knot in your stomach loosened, you can sleep better, have more energy, focus better, be a better spouse/so/friend/parent etc. I've played shrink with my parents for as long as I can remember and at some point you just have to be satisfied with the effort you put in...regardless of what you got out.

It's heartbreaking but some people can't/don't/won't change for a multitude and a combination of that multitude of reasons.

I hope I understood your question correctly and made sense.

Edit: of course the threshold for each person is going to be different...but something just clicks one day. One day it just makes sense to.

Pame_in_reddit
28
1 week ago

Parents as friends are toxic. Friendship are horizontal relationships, and parenting is supposed to be vertical, especially with children. The problem is that many people thinks “it’s a vertical relationship, so they are my slaves” instead of “They depend on me, so I have to be careful, because they are my responsibility”

I have a great relationship with my parents. I guess the “family comes before everything” in my case can be described in other words “I love them, I know that they are old so I want to expend all the time that I can with them. And I take care of myself, because, if something bad happened to me, they would suffer, and I want them to be happy”. Of course, my husband is also family, so this counts for the 3 of them.

MamieJoJackson
20
1 week ago

I feel you on that. When I met my husband's family, it was extremely jarring for me because they're kind and thoughtful of each other, and parents treat their children with common decency and respect. Adult children are seen as adults, and they can have real discussions with their parents. They don't have to hide who they are or how they feel - it's still bonkers to me in the most beautiful way. I couldn't bring myself to fully participate for years because I felt like I was watching a lovely scene inside a snow globe, and if I tried to touch it, I'd ruin everything, because I didn't know how to be a part of such a nice thing like that.

Not to say they don't argue and that everyone is perfect, but they respect each other, and they hear each other. It's why I insist my son claim himself as part of their family more than mine. They say you want your kids to have everything you never did, and I didn't have this kind of family growing up, so I want my son to have that entirely.

blackbellamy
12
1 week ago

Isn't it just completely fucked up to realize that there are families where the parents aren't raging alcoholics who beat on each other? And then you meet regular people and it seems weird, like they're putting on an act. And you start looking for signs they are fucking with you, because who the hell is wholesome just like day in and day out. Takes a long long time to get past that kind of childhood.

MamieJoJackson
3
1 week ago

For sure! My parents don't drink, and while they didn't hit each other really, they beat on us (mostly me) because that's just how they are. They'd take turns between that and other kinds of abuse (not sexual, before anyone asks), but yeah, seeing how other families don't do that and how they appear to actually love their kids and like them is very alien when you've never had that and have no way to cope with that new scenario.

Like, "You don't wish your parents would die and leave you alone? Tell me more". A horrible thing to admit, but that's what it was.

dogsandtreesplease
2
1 week ago

Wow, you perfectly worded how I feel about my husbands family

FIat45istheplan
12
1 week ago

I mean, I’m not best friends with my parents, but I love and respect them. Sure I don’t agree with many of their decisions, and they don’t agree with many of mine, but that never comes before our relationship.

They have consistently demonstrated that unconditional love means unconditional.

persianrugenthusiast
3
1 week ago

lol i also thought like this until i met someone with an actually supportive, happy family that loved eachother. then it clicked as to why people like this setup

Just-average-stoner
3
1 week ago

I love my family. But they have no say in my life.

I honestly think the people who are so loud about family being #1 know that they are cunts and some bullshit blood bond is the only reason people stick around. If they didn't have family that was brainwashed into dealing with them, they wouldn't have anyone

HawkeyeG_
3
1 week ago

Nah I'm with you 100%, too many people are brainwashed into this belief that "family is everything" even if your family is abusive or neglectful.

I believe a big driver for this is that it's hard to see from that perspective... Your parents raise you and are essentially your only contact with other humans for some time. And even once you get into school they are still the people you interact with most and your main "role models".

It still surprises me how much people let their family get away with though. There's so much cognitive dissonance with there things they think and say. "I know what my family is doing is wrong but I just have to accept it".

No. You don't. Your family threatens to disown you but you think you need to do everything you can to avoid that? Who cares? What is the downside to them disowning you anyway. People are so desperate to maintain this hurtful and negative connection and I really don't get that

bigdsweetz
3
1 week ago

This. My family tries to guilt trip me into everything because “we’re family” but every time I’ve asked for help I’m told I’m spoiled.

I remember when I was younger and tried to leave. Mother called the cops on my and I got escorted back home. For some running isn’t even an option.

But I feel you. Blood doesn’t make family. Bonds do.

Taco_boy32742
3
1 week ago

I don’t know if you know the quote “blood is thicker than water” but the full quote it “bonds built through blood are thicker than the water from the womb”

Edit typo

re_re_recovery
3
1 week ago

I didn't know this and I'm glad I do now. But I think you have a typo. Should it be: bonds built through blood?

NoxHexaDraconis
2
1 week ago

Doesn't even have to be parents, older siblings will do this crap too.

Craptiel
22
1 week ago

I’m 40 and I’m NC with my dad because he just won’t listen. It’s created multiple issues over the years with my kids. I got sick of being treated like a child and having my feelings belittled. The last argument we had I was making valid points and he told me to stop being cheeky. Needless to say I flipped my shit.

bluescrew
18
1 week ago

Uh I'm 38 and it hasn't stopped yet.

The only parent in my family who I've seen actually start to listen to their children was my grandfather after he had a stroke. That year he also started telling me he was proud of me for the first time ever, and changed his voting registration from Republican to Democrat.

moneybeets
8
1 week ago

Oh god when I was a teenager my mom almost ALWAYS attributed my argument/incomprehension of her “being right” due to the fact that my brain was still developing -_-

TreyLastname
7
1 week ago

I love to argue for arguing sake when I'm right. If I'm wrong (and proven wrong) I'll apologize and shut up about it. But you try to prove me wrong, and I will show you evidence stating why I'm right and won't drop it for a long ass time

Zena-Xina
6
1 week ago

Except my dad thinks he is always right and will not even accept the idea he isn't, even if I know I'm right, or want to share why I am and then we figure it out.

But it never gets that far.

Also, I hate arguing. I usually rather do anything else. So when I do, it because I have a good reason. Yet he always claims any time I disagree it's because I'm doing it literally just do it. Which couldn't be further from the truth.

Pirate_Mudd
62
1 week ago

I'm in my 30s and my dad keeps saying that I'll understand that he's right about everything when I'm older.

Every year I see how much more full of shit he is.

Beerubill
26
1 week ago

Same here. It´s getting better with time, but they still have this "psshhh, what do you know?" moments from time to time.

During puberty, it was "you will get it when you´re a grown-up", then "you´ll understand when you have your own household", then after I moved out to study "you´ll get it when you work and are standing on your own feet".

Now I´m in an 11-year relationship, we own a house, have good careers, and now it goes "wait until you have kids". I reckon if we had kids it would be "wait until they are old enough/move out on their own".

redhau
19
1 week ago

lmao, "wait until you have kids so that you can realize what type of shit you can get away with" is that what you mean?

Beerubill
3
1 week ago

Nah, they are not malicious. They just honestly think I possibly can´t know better because I´m the kid and they are the parents. But as I said, it´s slowly getting better.

Fat-and-Stupid
15
1 week ago

I hate this goalpost moving shit. My mom did that too and it drove me crazy. You get to have a say when you have your own money. When you turn 18. When you have a real job. When you move out. When you buy a car. When you buy a house etc. My opinions weren’t valid because I’m not “a REAL adult” but the qualifications for that changed every time I was able to meet the old ones. And she wonders why I went NC.

JPBooBoo
3
1 week ago

Lemme guess, when it comes to money, you are a 100% legit responsible adult.

Pirate_Mudd
11
1 week ago

They used to pull the wait until you have kids but we ruined that by deciding to never have kids. Both of use had to work hard as hell to have a successful marriage after having no real role models for it in our parents. We don't want to deal with that and we'd rather spoil our nieces and then get to leave when we want.

ProlapsedAnus69
2
1 week ago

LMAO same with my "mother"

Ahahaha__10
2
1 week ago

That's only true if they're right.

YourSkatingHobbit
35
1 week ago

This was exactly my mother, hence why I got on so much better wit my father (ironically, my dad is the older one). It’s the same type of parent that will insist ‘because I said so’ is a valid reason for absolutely everything. I’m also in my mid-twenties now so she’ll finally listen to me without fuss (mostly) but growing up - and even when I had to live at home again after medical treatment at 19/20 - it was the classic ‘me adult you child, me right you wrong’.

omgvivien
2
1 week ago

My mother is like this as well. "Because I said so" is always her finale in every argument. However, my father is the best dad to my sister and me, so you can just imagine how conflicted we are when one parent is unreasonable and the other is.

YourSkatingHobbit
2
1 week ago

I understand completely. My dad was always the reasonable one, willing to compromise and listen to me. Apparently this was me ‘manipulating’ him and wrapping me around my little finger 🤷🏻‍♀️.

fireinthemountains
13
1 week ago

My SO’s parents still call us kids and threaten to call my parents if we do something they don’t like.
I’m 26 and he’s 30.

SchmurffleLerpin
8
1 week ago

"Lmao do it, nerd."

fireinthemountains
2
1 week ago

Yeah that’s basically my response. It has never once gone well for her so I have no clue why she still threatens to do it.

hayhay0197
10
1 week ago

I’m 22 and both my parents still use the line “I’m the parent and you’re the child” and when I remind them that I’m an adult they always say “ oh so you’re using the I’m an adult card”. It drives me crazy. I don’t even live at home anymore it use anything that they put for so then calling me a child makes me want to strangle them.

AllPintsNorth
12
1 week ago

So preempt then by saying “Oh, you’re using the ‘I’m the parent’ card”

See how they like it.

FluidProcedure
2
1 week ago

" 'No I'm using the 'I'm an adult with my own home I can go to and don't have to listen to your bullshit for another second' card"

I have said something very similar to my own mother many years ago before I went total NC. And then I just got up and left without another word.

voltron867
2
1 week ago

Disown them.

Sqarlet
10
1 week ago

Tbh it sounds like they want you to obey them no matter what. Obedience does not equal respect so they're on the wrong track there.

chair_ee
2
1 week ago
  • obedience
Funk-E-Buttlovin
8
1 week ago

Some teachers are like this too which is equally infuriating.

iscrapedmyleg
6
1 week ago

this is pretty much how mine are, i’m still waiting for them to finally listen to what i have to say lmao

spidermaybe
3
1 week ago

Really, how hard is it to understand that if you treat your kids with respect they'll treat you with respect, and, more importantly, respect themselves?

I know this is an oversimplification--my kids are in their 20s now, so I've been through the teenage years. But in my experience, that's the end result. Treat your kids with respect!

ZKXX
23
1 week ago

Spit on her stuff?

MarionetteScans
7
1 week ago

Brøther may I have øats

Vmansuria
6
1 week ago

Your moms a bitch gtfo

SuperMatureGamer
5
1 week ago

Cause you're mom is a narcissist dude. This is a classic narcissistic move, I know you think that this is just what parents do but I would guess your mom will behave this way until the day she dies. Sorry, sucks.

The_Monarch_
5
1 week ago

I would have said "Fuck off." and left it at that.

You want bitchiness? I'll escalate shit real quick. The fuck is wrong with your mother? Is she a narcissist?

I wish you peace.

Medraut_Orthon
2
1 week ago

Does she drink?

powerpuffvegan
2
1 week ago

no

Jenn1110
2
1 week ago

Good god- this text is so EXACTLY my mom. Gives me anxiety just reading it because she pissed me off so much when I was younger and she would hold random stuff over my head if I didn't do whatever she wanted. She would insert herself into matters that had nothing to do with her, such as arguments between me and my sister. I believe they do this as another way to exert control over their propertychildren and also to help themselves feel relevant whenever they get a chance. Disgusting.

quarterburn
2
1 week ago

I had to deal with logic 20 years ago as a teen with my parents and it STILL happens now to both me and my sister.

Doesn’t matter that I‘be been an adult way long than I was a kid. Doesn’t matter how mature and reasoned my response is. So now I just make fun of them for their silly responses because my nuclear option is now worse than their nuclear option.

Zedraruler
2
1 week ago

your mom cant accept the truth

'

JKMC4
95
1 week ago

Because then that would validate OP and then they would lose the bullshit power they have over OP.

MaxwellSH
84
1 week ago

"don't talk back to me"

I wouldn't call my parents insane but I can't tell you how many times I have heard that.

Dayan54
58
1 week ago

This used to make me so mad, even convicted criminals are heard in court, but somehow parents think that calmly making an argument in your own defense is disrespectful. F*uck off

Johnnybravo60025
18
1 week ago

F*uck off

Huh?

KuribohMaster666
13
1 week ago

The censored letter is obviously a C.

"Fcuck off".

Dayan54
2
1 week ago

It was what I used to think. Not directed at you

free-the-sugondese
31
1 week ago

Many people don’t realize their parents are insane because they’ve been led to believe its normal, I suspect this may be your case. It was mine as well until I discovered this sub.

blackcat-
14
1 week ago

That's not right at all. Nah, dont project your experience on another person. "I suspect this may be the case"

MaxwellSH
12
1 week ago

I mean I wouldn't call my mom insane for not wanting to argue with a teenager. It depends for our standards for "insane" I guess.

Zolku
8
1 week ago

This is so fucking me, I only realized my parents were wrong and made a lot of dumb decisions most of the times after I became an adult tbh.

Now it feels like they are complete clueless about everything and had no idea how to raise a child. It’s amazing I’m not dead or in jail.

Daudthebest
7
1 week ago

If i got a dollar for every time my parents told me this i would be rich

Qinjax
49
1 week ago

i got

"dont be a smartass"

so i just stopped talking to them about anything except the essentials

annndddddddddd guess who has barely any form of relationship with their parents!

superfurrykylos
35
1 week ago

"don't talk back to me"

Oh man, that was so frustrating as a kid. You weren't allowed to defend yourself or explain because it was "talking back". Infuriating.

thecuriousblackbird
3
1 week ago

Or “making excuses”

dasfeesh
11
1 week ago

"I dont like your attitude"

boogiemywoogie
11
1 week ago

My mom’s favorite card to pull is the “don’t talk back to me” and it’s so fucking annoying at this point.

learnyouahaskell
8
1 week ago

"Hey, don't take it out on me that you aren't raising a decent human being..."

Rx-Terps
6
1 week ago

Are you a kid too?

sylbug
3
1 week ago

Lack of intelligence combined with narcissism. They couldn’t be arsed to actually consider their child a person with legitimate grievances.

megablast
2
1 week ago

Because they are still used to you being a kid and saying silly stuff.

Kypr1os
2
1 week ago

“Stop being snotty” was a favorite of my mom’s

ursidae97
2
1 week ago

Mom (looking at general awareness): Is this disrespect?

TheUltimateWhatever
2
1 week ago

I think it's a power flex. You can't win arguments against someone that brought you into this world. You can't be rightly angry when your parent tells you to. Ugh

geshupenst
2
1 week ago

I guess as a parent, they feel bad explicitly calling their child a bitch, so they use "bitchiness"

TheBrainStone
1645
1 week ago

I’ll never understand these extreme levels of favoritism of parents. Just doesn’t make any bit of sense.

powerpuffvegan
947
1 week ago

my brother is the youngest, so i believe that’s why

TheBrainStone
336
1 week ago

That may be a reason but not a justification

powerpuffvegan
277
1 week ago

i’m not saying it is but that’s probably the reason

TheBrainStone
134
1 week ago

I feel disgusted

powerpuffvegan
142
1 week ago

it’s very annoying

thebrownesteye
53
1 week ago

DISCOSTANG

1amdeadinside
4
1 week ago
JonnyBhoy
26
1 week ago

I suspect parents sometimes feel guilty for creating such shitty entitled kids, that they end up defending whatever they do for an easy life.

LN_McJellin
193
1 week ago

Man, I just found out something super fucked up about my SIL. She has three teenage boys from a previous marriage. We’ve all always got the feeling that the youngest is her favorite. She doesn’t punish him, or make him do chores. She’ll take him alone out for ice cream and things like that. Well, we just found out that she’ll go and pick her youngest son up from school, and make the other one ride the bus. They go to the same school and neither of them have extracurriculars, so they get out at the exact same time... That’s abuse, right?

hb76356
132
1 week ago

Here is what's likely to happen. The favorite will go about their business as they grow up and she'll need the other two to take care of her in her old age. I hope they treat her like they got treated.

Apini
55
1 week ago

Wtf... they’d messed up. Poor kids

sylbug
47
1 week ago

Yes that is abuse.

idonthavanickname
17
1 week ago

Well shame on your brother for allowing this to happen wtf that’s definitely signs of emotional abuse

megablast
9
1 week ago

Depends. Firstly it is more fun on the bus than with her. Secondly, maybe when he reached the same age she will do the same to him.

Still, it is odd she doesn't trust his brothers.

Merihn
25
1 week ago

nah, when something like this is going on in a family it’s called the “Golden Child/Scapegoat” dynamic. the mother sees the younger child as the golden child and the other child/ren as the scapegoats. the golden child can basically do no wrong and the other children take the fall for anything that goes wrong.

IrreverentSweetie
5
1 week ago

Agreed!

supremelyparanoid
3
1 week ago

Ugh my mum used to do this shit to me too. Never understood it?

thecuriousblackbird
3
1 week ago

Absolutely

Scraps23
189
1 week ago

It sounds like you give her valid points often, so she most likely looks to your brother because she can exercise control over him more easily since he's younger. I know this doesn't help at all, but maybe offers some insight.

niapattenlooks
47
1 week ago

It would make sense to forgive him if he was, like, 2 years old. I’m guessing he’s not a toddler though, right?

powerpuffvegan
68
1 week ago

he is 12 turning 13 this month

sylbug
27
1 week ago

Yeah she’s just not a very good parent.

poor_icarus
14
1 week ago

Is your brother some kind of animal who squirts water when threatened?

HoneyGrahams224
7
1 week ago

Sorry you don't have a very good mom. It's a lonely feeling. Once you turn 18 (assumit you still live at home) you can move out, and then choose if you want her and your brother in your life or not.

gg0209
45
1 week ago

My brother is younger than me but older than my little sister. Anyhow, he can get away with fucking everything. He used to come into my room, take my stuff and leave, spray deodorant everywhere including in my eyes, mess stuff up, or just sit there and taunt me - but as soon as I reacted and yelled at him to GTFO, my parents would get pissed with me.

I’m 20 now and I’ve moved out, but he still does this shit to my little sister and he still gets away with it. Once he came into her room, layed down at the end of her bed and just started pinching her. My sister and I have been trained to stay calm but needless to say, eventually my little sister snapped and screamed at him to leave her alone, from the top of her lungs. He only likes it when we get riled up and gets even worse, so my sister kicked him in the shin. He must’ve barely felt it because he’s close to 2 meters and almost 100kg, but he jumped on her and just started hitting her. I had to drag him off to stop it, while my parents screamed from downstairs that my sister should stop screaming. She was so, so angry and frustrated and just sad, and I know the feeling so well because it’s unjust and you can’t do anything about it - so I took her out and tried to make her feel a little better.

It pisses me off to no end. My mom always says that my brother ‘had it hard’ because he was the only boy, but for some reason she refuses to accept that he made/makes our childhood living hell.

Sorry for the rant. I guess I’m just trying to say that I get how you feel. It’s unfair, it’s infuriating and it’s frankly disgusting - but hang in there. My brother still annoys us at times, but he’s gotten so, so much better now that he’s 16. It will never be fair, but it will get less bad.

Flaffiwoo
28
1 week ago

That's battery. Next time just call the police

gg0209
7
1 week ago

Yeah, well, my parents don’t see it that way, and I doubt that the cops would take me seriously if both of my parents said it wasn’t anything serious.

bleachdrinker34
14
1 week ago

Why the fuck have you like not called CPS

AngusBoomPants
15
1 week ago

It is. My sister ditched me 3 times to go hang out with a boy she met on tinder. Each time leaving me to have a panic attack and run around the town trying to find her. I also took a day off from both jobs to hang out with her and I was up late looking for her and calming her down once our dad found out.

I’ll never forget working both my jobs, 8am to 1pm and then 2pm to 10pm, on 2 hours of sleep. My back hurt so bad because I was at the store getting cat litter (she took the car and this way the one day a month where I have to dump all the litter and hose down the box) and I had to walk home. That was the first time, and my parents told me I should talk to her, then she did it again, and again. I’m still told that “she needs me” and “be the older brother”.

bro_before_ho
9
1 week ago

I mean you could just let your sister run around town...

AngusBoomPants
6
1 week ago

It’s more of she says “I’m going to X I’ll be back at 6” and then doesn’t answer her phone. X being the library or her friend’s house or a call for her college program.

SlimJohnson
8
1 week ago

Honestly when you move out, call her a bitch and tell her you’re holding a grudge over her bitchiness. Fucking bitch. God I hate reading this shit - hopefully you don’t deal with it the rest of your life.

napstablook12
3
1 week ago

I feel ya :/

mekareami
2
1 week ago

THIS. Baby of family could do no wrong.

Astyyria
91
1 week ago

My family always played favorites and it was extremely hard for me. I was the first born so no one cared about me once the other 4 came along. All of them were favorites by someone in the family. It really hurt me as I’d get left behind or forgotten constantly. No matter what I do, I feel like I’ll never be able to make them proud of me because I simply don’t matter as much as the others.

Tigergirl1975
76
1 week ago

I feel you. I am the oldest by far. I am 10, 12, and 15 yesrs older than my siblings. I have a house, a job, and have my shit together, but because I am the oldest, that is just expected. My brother, who, being a dumbass, quit his job 3 weeks before buying a house so his inlaws had to cosign on the house, is the "one to look up to". I'm still the fuckup. Why? Because I have a different dad, and my mom hates him (forngood reason, but still).

Astyyria
36
1 week ago

My mom has 5 kids by 3 men and my dad has 3 kids by two women. I grew up with the 4 from my mom and never interacted with the 2 from my dad. One of my half sisters also has a half brother that’s not related to the rest of us. Thankfully different parents isn’t why they dont care about me, as far as I know. I honestly have no idea why they don’t have any interest in me. I’m everything they trained me to be. Ive always been quiet and passive. I stay low and don’t make a scene or try to stand out. I was a straight A student in honors classes. I’m obedient and do as I’m told unquestioningly. I’ve never been in trouble. I moved out at 17 and am financially independent. I have a wonderful job and a stable relationship. Yet, nothing I do impresses them. They always choose my siblings over me.

Tigergirl1975
26
1 week ago

I will admit my teenage years were rough. My mother and I would routinely wage world war 3 on each other. I moved out at 18 (in with my aunt), and got everything together, bought a house, and moved out.

As long as we don't spend too much time together, we are relatively ok. That said, the instant my brother (her favorite) is around, we fight about everything. This is one of the many reasons why I live 1200 miles away. She moved and expected me to move with her. Yeah, thats a big nah from me. I'll stay here, you go ahead.

Kantotheotter
16
1 week ago

You impress me, im a rando internet mom but still. I am proud of you!! Good job at life astyyria.

Astyyria
9
1 week ago

Thank you 😊

Vemasi
12
1 week ago

This sounds like a lot of the people on r/raisedbynarcissists . They don’t want you to be good, they want drama and want you to build them up and play into their shit. Know that you might never be enough for them, but that is their fault, not yours. You’re great and you’re impressive, and you ARE enough, apart from them.

1000PointsOfHate
3
1 week ago

Take all that mental anguish and ball it up and toss it into a mental waste basket then start making decision and actions that only matter to you and make you happy. If that means being around them less then so be it.

dragonfly1702
2
1 week ago

I feel like I could’ve written this, I’m 44 and it’s still the same as it’s always been. I finally realized that it won’t ever change and I’ve distanced myself from my mom and went NC with my real dad. My brothers only know I exist when they want something. I gave up trying to figure it out, but I’m gonna continue doing right and being myself and screw the people who don’t realize what they have/had in me.

Fat-and-Stupid
2
1 week ago

Bruh I understand that. I’m the oldest and my parents split when I was really young. Both my younger sisters are about a decade younger than me and I’ve always felt like the odd one out while they moved on with their lives.

pl487
27
1 week ago

It's done very consciously as a method of control and abuse. It has a lot of advantages for the narcissistic, abusive parent:

  • Each child sees how bad/good the other has it and wants to get the good things/is afraid of losing the good things, and so both will continuously try to gain the parent's favor.
  • It keeps the children from developing loyalty to and emotional connections with each other, so that you can keep them both fully enmeshed with you.
  • Ideally, the children continuously fight each other out of resentment and the parent gets to sit back, enjoy the drama, and hand out punishments.
  • If you don't switch back and forth, you can often turn the scapegoat into a broken shell of a human before they turn 18, and they can live with you and be your caretaker/servant as you age, saving you a lot of money on in-home care, who would probably quit anyway the first time you accuse them of stealing.
sylbug
19
1 week ago

I was the scapegoat. Nothing like getting a used book about chess for my birthday (I do not play chess) when my brother got a gold chain two weeks later. I was told I was making a big deal over nothing when I got upset.

I doubt anyone ever really gets over it, but I find that once you recognize it for what it is, it’s much easier to deal with in general.

Goreticia-Addams
24
1 week ago

My sister nearly died when she was 3 years old and afterwards, could do no wrong in my parents' eyes. I on the other hand are a constant disappointment bc I couldn't live up to their ridiculously high standards. It's like they took the dreams they had for her and put them on top of the huge list they had for me.

Trans_day_of_rage
20
1 week ago

God, my parents were the same way. My sister flooded the bathroom, pouring into floor below it and then into the basement. The piss water managed to land perfectly where I stored my old stuff. Not only did I have to fix the flood, I got yelled at for being upset that my stuff was destroyed.

Aleforge
11
1 week ago

Every parent has a favorite but not every parent with admit it.

namelesone
5
1 week ago

It's a win when you only have one child. They are the unquestionable favourite and you don't have to struggle with showing or not showing favouritism to one or another of your children.

Fairy_Squad_Mother
3
1 week ago

How do I find out who my mum's favourite is? If she has a favourite, she hides it really well.

Aleforge
2
1 week ago

My wife and I have three kids and we do our best to treat them equally. However I am sure they have suspicions due to one of them *********************** (shit just realized one of my kids is on reddit and knows my username)

We have had the conversation before and my wife has a much harder time admitting it but it's not hard to tell. And I have researched it... pretty much every parent is the same way. No one wants to "say it" but kids are people too... and some people are just easier to deal with. lol

Oh and your question. Well you can tell mostly by comparing yourself to your siblings. Who has the least attitude? Who is the most respectful, does well academically etc. Maybe you guys are all identical... mine are not. I would say attitude plays the largest role for us.

TheRune
7
1 week ago

I have the same in my family but not like this. Me and my wife met Early in our life's (early teens). I have always behaved, took my education, always had a job, never accepted or assumed any kind of hand outs. I think it's a little pathetic to rely on your parents handing you money or covering your bills when you are an adult.

My little brother is my dead opposite. Never worked a day in his life, no education, flukes at everything and lives in my mother's spare room loving off her Grace. And thats a Lot og Grace. She got him a car and covers all his expenses and expects nothing in return. If I ask him if he ever wants more or if I should ask around if someone needs som help that can employ him, she gets mad. I almost think she likes nesting him.

help_me_im_just_egg
1060
1 week ago

I caught my sister stealing makeup, clothes, and jewelry, out of my room and straight up lying to me and our parents about it. I only got her to admit it when I either went through her room when she wasn’t there, or sent her screenshots from her story of her wearing my things. I confronted her, she started to cry, my dad got in my face and told me I was bullying her, to stop picking on her, and that I need to “share” with my little sister.

She’s 15. Im 20.

powerpuffvegan
480
1 week ago

ridiculous. she shouldn’t be allowed to take your things or even go in your room without asking. the younger one always gets the easy way out.

Tigergirl1975
206
1 week ago

I also get the "you are too hard on them. You don't see them get in trouble, but they do."

Bullshit. My sister did things that i would have been in a coffin for if i had even considered doing them, and got off with my mother telling my dad "deal with her" and my dad doing absolutely nothing. It then blows over, and nothing happens. Since she gets away with it, she gwts worse. Rinse and repeat.

icecreamqueen96
79
1 week ago

God my mom loves fucking saying this all the time, when I mention her yelling at me is uncalled for when I do nothing wrong and tell her she would never treat my brother this way even when hes failed tests, snuck out, drank underage, etc. He was good at keeping it secret when he was in high school, but he got a DUI last year and she pitied him and got upset. Because he called our dad first instead of her when he needed help. She always says "you dont see me when I yell at him, or discipline him" I'm like bitch you dont do shit to that boy stop lying.

habesojamilchmitdass
22
1 week ago

One time at 17 my aunt told me I was being too hard on my 16 year old cousin and that I had to remember I was "a lot older than him."

nik1_for
10
1 week ago

Lock your door on the way out and carry a quarter with you everywhere you go

llamaswanman
30
1 week ago

as a younger sibling, i can confirm this. they gave me loads of opportunities they would have never considered with my brother. it absolutely tears me up inside i feel so awful for getting theses chances he never got

vyrus2021
11
1 week ago

How about a change up. I was the younger brother to an older sister. I got baby boy favoritism from mom and she got "don't ever hit a girl" from dad. So she would hit me at take my stuff and the instant I hit back or went into her room to get my stuff back she would flip out which would get my dad to come punish me, which would cause my mom to come to my defense which apparently came across as unfair to my sister.

bitedamn
3
1 week ago

Honestly, the rage that would go through me if my parents said that. Idk what to do. I remember my brother constantly grabbing my electric razor and using it for his pubes. I'd tell him to fuck off and scrub that bitch clean. Time passed and he's done it again. I go to my parents to complain, they tell me to share (they didn't give a flying fuck).

So I would do what any normal hormonal pissed off older brother would do with a desicrated razor. I messaged him to come to our room, he walked in, I fucking over armed hurled it at him. Yes, he cried, yes, it hit him, no, the razor did not survive impact. Didn't care about the consequences because he never used my shit again without asking first or going behind my back.

Sometimes violence is best option.

JonnyBhoy
15
1 week ago

My younger brother used to take no shit all the time, so I decided to start charging a rental fee. Any time he took something of mine, I stole some money from him to compensate. And as I wasn't involved in the decision to take the item, he wasn't involved in the agreement over the amount.

bro_before_ho
3
1 week ago

Nice.

theflowercat
2
1 week ago

Give it five years..they will be whining and lamenting to you about how they just have no idea how she turned out to be such a rotten entitled and immature adult with no sense of personal responsibility.

Spacesquid101
371
1 week ago

He spat everywhere?

powerpuffvegan
554
1 week ago

yes, he had his friend over and decided it would be funny to come into my room while i was peacefully minding my business and spit everywhere. it was so gross.

Spacesquid101
208
1 week ago

Ew

powerpuffvegan
323
1 week ago

i know and somehow i’m the one in trouble here

ileisen
221
1 week ago

Dude. I don’t usually advocate retaliation but, retaliate. Tell everyone at school and then let the rumour mill fly. If your parents won’t teach him that spitting on other people’s things is unacceptable, then society will do it the hard way.

powerpuffvegan
215
1 week ago

well, i am a junior in high school. my brother is a 7th grader. we aren’t in the same school and i also don’t want him to get bullied

GeneralHoneywine
163
1 week ago

You are a nicer person than I was at your age. I hope things get better soon, either your mother changing her attitude or you getting distance from her.

powerpuffvegan
87
1 week ago

thank you very much

JKMC4
43
1 week ago

He spat on your stuff. That’s bullying as far as I’m concerned.

powerpuffvegan
54
1 week ago

yes but this is family matter, it does not concern his or my peers

JKMC4
29
1 week ago

I respect that.

iamasopissed
22
1 week ago

Go spit on his stuff

lv_Mortarion_vl
2
1 week ago

Probably the only context in whish that would be ok hahaha

MeanGirlsMakeMeHard
6
1 week ago

If you're a girl and he's trying to teach you a lesson with his bodily fluids, just leave a used tampon on his pillow.

The nuclear option will put an end to the debate. Or he will piss on your bed next. 50/50.

theVVriter
2
1 week ago

Yeah only all of reddit when there’s karma involved

ActiveStoner
48
1 week ago

That's a totally mature response! Do you think just telling him that you're going to spread that around might make him think twice the next time?

powerpuffvegan
31
1 week ago

possibly

Aleforge
40
1 week ago

Good on you seriously, being a dick brother is one thing. Having him tormented at school is an entirely different level.

powerpuffvegan
25
1 week ago

exactly

brothermonn
44
1 week ago

Just spit on him every time you see him instead. Keep it in the family.

Call_Me_Crandall
2
1 week ago

Not really.

People respond to force/violence more than anything else. It's the timid who get pushed around.

I bet if OP smacked the shit out of her cunt mother she'd think twice when she talked to her

Making her brother the target of years of torment would also teach him not to fuck with her too.

Aleforge
5
1 week ago

Ya I doubt it to be honest. Her mother is crazy. I wouldn't doubt if she had her arrested or some crap to prove a point.

VernyUl
10
1 week ago

They said that he is in 7th grade, that's somewhere around 12-14 if I understand correctly.

enderflight
6
1 week ago

12-13. 13-14 is 8th, and 14-15 is 9th.

Edit: OP says he’s turning 13 in a month, which is in the right age range for 7th.

Lexiepocalypse
6
1 week ago

Just spit in his food from now on

AntisocialEmo69
2
1 week ago

My brother spits everywhere too, I have no idea why but in our carpeted home he will just fucking spit everywhere, and yeah apparently I am always at fault for getting mad every time he spits on my bed where I sleep.

Dad_B0T
303
1 week ago

Voting has concluded. This vote was deemed; insane with 130 votes

# Votes

Insane Not insane Fake
130 5 8

I am a bot for r/insaneparents. Please send me a message if you have any feedback or if I misbehave.

[deleted]
12
1 week ago

[removed]

[deleted]
2
1 week ago

[removed]

[deleted]
2
1 week ago

[removed]

Q-_O
2
1 week ago

Insane

Ilive4airtime
2
1 week ago

Insane

Kellamon1
2
1 week ago

fake

happypantz420
2
1 week ago

fake

Thebabyfacequeen
2
1 week ago

Insane

Chrismslist
2
1 week ago

insane

BeatinDaBoxn
2
1 week ago

Insane

Sinful_Cat
2
1 week ago

Insane

furywolf28
2
1 week ago

Insane

Abbebabbe124
2
1 week ago

Insane

JayzerBomb
2
1 week ago

Not insane

AngusBoomPants
2
1 week ago

Insane

PrincessSassypants54
2
1 week ago

Insane

StrikerBass_Bear
2
1 week ago

insane

reesercollins
2
1 week ago

Insane

I_munch_butts_AMA
2
1 week ago

insane

TheHalfDane
2
1 week ago

Insane

Max_W_
2
1 week ago

insane

ExuberantElephant
2
1 week ago

Insane

thetylerthelee_
2
1 week ago

Insane

mimi7600
2
1 week ago

Insane

babyhighfive
267
1 week ago

Whenever i tried to explain my stance on things, my mom would hit me in the face with a sandal.

powerpuffvegan
123
1 week ago

that’s terrible

JuiceboxThaKidd
51
1 week ago

The fury of La Chancla

icesharkk
3
1 week ago

the fear is real

Cashrunner
2
1 week ago

Man la chancla has a designated ass area only a face is off limits

RC3_Skywalker
34
1 week ago

i always like to imagine if the daughter had children with gramma over, and the grandma heard the children getting beat for punishment that they would regret raising their children badly.

tulipmintjulip
2
1 week ago

Do you mean a chancleta?

Murka-Lurka
183
1 week ago

It is not holding a grudge when someone is yet to apologise and make appropriate reparations for when they have been nasty to you.

powerpuffvegan
95
1 week ago

well he has apologized but only because my parents were watching

Murka-Lurka
50
1 week ago

Does that mean it was a genuine apology? And had he made up for what he did?

powerpuffvegan
82
1 week ago

no, i don’t think it was genuine. he had to put his angel face on for my parents to avoid any consequences

Murka-Lurka
41
1 week ago

Well you are under no obligation to accept the rug sweeping until he proves that he can be trusted again.

jhonotan1
7
1 week ago

Honestly, you can accept an apology and still not like a person. You don't owe your little brother anything, and I think your reaction is a better lesson to learn than your parents forcing him to say the words "I'm sorry" with no meaning. Soon, he'll learn that his actions have consequences, and he'll probably damage some of his relationships in the process.

I know he's a jerk, but cut him a little slack, if you can. Your parents are doing him a huge disservice by allowing him to act that way, and it sounds like they've never actually shown him how to be a good person.

rottingpisssmell
2
1 week ago

It's also not a grudge when its a recent offense. It'll be a grudge when you're still angry a year from now.

I hold grudges forever if i want. It's my right.

Weepingfairyeye
2
1 week ago

Exactly. Even non-narcissistic parents otherwise don’t realize that. My cousin once fucking went crazy on me, screaming and whining, i remember she screeched about how I don’t do anything with my life (despite being in high school and openly stating that I was focusing on passing the damn grade and a job would just stress me out worse) and therefore I apparently shouldn’t be anywhere near her, because she was pissed at her mom and I just so happened to be looking for my inhaler near her location, which fell under the bed. Now I’m already having trouble breathing so I just break down crying from the stress, which makes it worse.

Later on my mom came to ask why I hadn’t forgiven her, she wasn’t there at the time and hadn’t realized that her actions almost sent me into an asthma attack, but then her brother (bless him) came over and corroborated my claim that she had no reason to act like she did and that she could’ve very likely hospitalized me. Where a narcissist would likely say “bullshit” or “be the bigger person” or whatever fucking excuse, my mom instantly said alright and then apologized for wanting me to forgive her when she 1: put me in actual danger, 2: made a statement that she had no right to make that to this day still makes me feel like shit and at the time sank me deeper into the quagmire of depression, and 3: never apologized for it.

People overall need to know that you don’t have to forgive someone and that sometimes “holding a grudge” is better for your health. On a related note, I notice that people mistake refusing to forgive someone that hurt you badly and you know will likely do it again with holding a grudge. To me, holding a grudge means actively holding onto angry emotions towards someone, whereas you can refuse to forgive someone without holding those emotions past the normal time frame for you. Keeping in mind that people can naturally feel anger/worry/annoyance etc for longer or shorter times than others, of course.

marshall_cooper
119
1 week ago

The fact that they call you a bitch means they are bad and mentally abusive parents

youngbettydraper
16
1 week ago

This

kramer3410
3
1 week ago

I hate it so much because they are putting into your head that it’s okay if someone tells you to “stop bitching.” I can’t think of a situation where you should take that type of language from anyone.

Mark1sLord
93
1 week ago

How old is your brother?

powerpuffvegan
105
1 week ago

he will be 13 this month

Mark1sLord
125
1 week ago

Really?! I was going to say if your brother is like 6 that's kinda understandable from your mom, but a 12 year old should definitely know better.

powerpuffvegan
54
1 week ago

i know, it’s so annoying

EatShitMyDudes
29
1 week ago

I might've been dumb as fuck when I was 12, but even then I was smart enough to know not to do that to my older sister.

lil_bit_o_sunshine
14
1 week ago

Oh hell no. I also was expecting it to be a young child but 13 is MUCH to old for that shit. Saying you are sorry is not a get off free pass. You can still have people be upset with you after you are a douche. Im sorry doesnt take that away. Get a job asap and save money. I dipped out of my home young and am much happier now at 25 with no relationship with either of ny parents or there spouses.

Icarus_Sky1
57
1 week ago

Good work holding your ground. Did you at least get a proper apology out of him?

powerpuffvegan
45
1 week ago

well he apologized but only because my parents were there

localittlewitch
11
1 week ago

This is what I was wondering. If he isn’t even sorry for what he did, why would she even consider not being upset about it anymore?

DarthLift
53
1 week ago

My Mom constantly tries to guilt me into forgiving my sister (long story) even though my sister has not changed in any way and continues doing the same stuff as what made me mad to begin with. Her reasoning of "well she isn't mad at/holding a grudge to you" only bugs me more, because of course my sister isn't holding a grudge, I'm not the one who fucked up so theirs nothing to be mad at me for.

powerpuffvegan
24
1 week ago

i am in the same exact situation. it really sucks

FuckKarmaAndFuckYou
22
1 week ago

There is only one solution. DO NOT ENGAGE. DO NOT GET EMOTIONALLY INVESTED IN THESE PETTY ARGUMENTS. You will not win. You will not be able to get your point across. You will never be able to have them even attempt to try and understand your point of view. They know 2 and 2 is 4. You know 2 and 2 is 4 but they will never, ever say 4 out loud. They will intentionally start talking about other stuff while telling you your math sucks and you're horrible.

Do not engage in petty arguments and save your breath. Say this and nothing more "I'm mad at my brother for spitting all over my room. I will remain mad until I get an apology. Spitting is bad. Nothing further can be discussed until the apology. Pause. The end. Finito."

After that walk away or just keep saying the most unenthusiastic OK possible to whatever they say. "How long you gonna keep a grudge? OK. You're a bad person. OK. What time is it? OK. Why are you rude? OK. Why do you keep saying OK? Because I'm practicing saying OK for when I get my apology."

gordon833
2
1 week ago

I love this. Really well put

blueskidoo2
48
1 week ago

Are you a female? Mothers that call their daughters "bitchy" or refer to them as "bitches" are doing nothing more than regressing women and encouraging women to bring each other down. It disgusts me.

powerpuffvegan
21
1 week ago

yes i am a female

blueskidoo2
19
1 week ago

Yeah. That's fucked up.

bangaio3
26
1 week ago

I wanna know what your friend did to piss off your mum now lol

powerpuffvegan
35
1 week ago

it was pretty stupid. he was dared by one of our friends to give me a hickey one time and we both agreed to it and my mom ended up seeing it, and she was aware it was a dare. i was grounded for a week (which was reasonable in my opinion) and she finally forgave him today

Eftersigne
41
1 week ago

That doesnt sound very reasonable to me

powerpuffvegan
3
1 week ago

well i don’t think it was an unreasonable punishment, i was dumb

Eftersigne
38
1 week ago

You werent dumb. You put nobody in danger and weren’t being an asshole. Trust me, getting a hickey is not “dumb”. It’s totally normal and innocent and definately not something your mom should be punishing you for like this IMO

Synackaon
15
1 week ago

I said I was afraid she’s emotionally compromised, but this comment chain just confirms it.

Getting grounded for getting a hickey is like being grounded for expressing affection and emotion. It’s part of being human.

Fact she’s excusing away her treatment as “I think it’s normal” is already super troubling.

Abuse victims who think their abuse is okay because they “deserved it” is all too common.

sweprotoker97
4
1 week ago

It is 100% unreasonable and even if you don't see it your mother seems abusive, playing favorites like this and punishing a teenager for something as innocent as a hickey is insane.

nicegirltm
16
1 week ago

when parents ground their kids for having hickeys... 🤡

Aleforge
8
1 week ago

give me a hickey one time

What did he come out of nowhere and latch on like a vampire?

powerpuffvegan
6
1 week ago

no, it was a dare from our friend. it was stupid and we shouldn’t have done it, i know. i am not claiming i am perfect.

handcuffsanddick
13
1 week ago

You didn’t do anything wrong tho. It’s just a hickey that you consented to. Don’t feel bad about it.

ggavigoose
8
1 week ago

For what it’s worth, giving and receiving hickeys is a pretty normal part of the human experience. Between two consenting parties it’s basically nobody else’s business, beyond perhaps a little suggestive ribbing from friends if it’s an especially big one.

I just want you to know that because it sounds like you’ve had to internalize your parent’s strange view of good and bad behaviour. You’re not a bad person for doing something that didn’t hurt anyone and that pretty much everyone does. Hell, my partner and I like to give each other a hickey on a clothable area sometimes before work as a way of expressing affection and carrying a little token of that affection throughout our day, and we’re closer to 30 than not.

You didn’t do anything wrong and I would encourage you to always seek an outside perspective when it comes to your parents and things they insist are punishable, you might be surprised (and hopefully encouraged) by how off the mark their views are compared to most folks.

FicusTheTree
26
1 week ago

I hate this shit so much. Every fucking discussion with my parents is like this.

Then Id always ask "what about if I did that to you" and thats when shit hits the fan

Aleforge
14
1 week ago

what about if I did that to you

Yikes that heading into the maelstrom there.

vscogirlsksksksksksk
27
1 week ago

Go and spit all over her room and if she complains or gets pissed at you, tell her to not hold a grudge over that and to stop her bitchiness.

powerpuffvegan
19
1 week ago

I’m not gonna spit in my mom’s room, that’s the worst thing i could possibly do

vscogirlsksksksksksk
16
1 week ago

But why did your brother even spit in your room? What does he get out of that?

powerpuffvegan
16
1 week ago

his friend was over, i guess he did it to show off of be funny

vscogirlsksksksksksk
16
1 week ago

That’s just gross

powerpuffvegan
11
1 week ago

yep

I_AM_TARA
7
1 week ago

Shaving a vagina? That sounds painful

Ant123bell
2
1 week ago

What the fuck that’s disgusting

2t_Skelliott
3
1 week ago

Exactly! Thank you!

Ant123bell
2
1 week ago

I mean straight up dont touch my pube razor ? How the fuck did ... I honestly cant tell what her though process was there

Yugaindiran
17
1 week ago

Reply with .. well what can i say, I'm your son/daughter. I can only be like you.

SakuraNights
4
1 week ago

My mom used to tell me that I was just like my father as an insult, or she would call me a bitch. I’d just reply, “Well it takes one to know one.”

Usually just pissed her off even more, but it felt so damn good to get one over on her.

Yugaindiran
2
1 week ago

Noice, little wins like that matters

thezuule
16
1 week ago

Still being mad about something a few hours later is holding a grudge now? Shit...

vannion
15
1 week ago

If you spit in Mom's shit does she hold a grudge?

powerpuffvegan
10
1 week ago

that’s not the point, i wouldn’t do that. i just hate her siding with my brother here

zAaaaaaaaAaaaaaaaAz
4
1 week ago

I believe they were just saying that it’s dumb for your mum to say to not hold a grudge when she’d probably hold one on you if you did the same to her

vannion
3
1 week ago

Sometimes you have to prove the point.

edwardcantordean
12
1 week ago

I don't think she knows what "holding a grudge" means... something that just happened the night before and (presumably) hasn't been apologized for is completely reasonable to be pissed about.

FrecklesofYore
10
1 week ago

My daughter is five and when she presents a valid argument, no matter how mad I am, if she's right then she's right. I make sure that I acknowledge that even if I punish her anyway.

Example, I get upset about her eating too many cookies. She says that I didn't say how much is too much. She isn't wrong but she still ate too many cookies.

Skywalker87
11
1 week ago

Why can they never leave it alone? Whenever I distance myself from my sister for going off on me yet again, my mom calls me and sobs that I need to forgive and help her. Never any concern for what was said to me, or my feelings. Never my sister reaching out to apologize. Just mom trying ti triangulate it all, and always in favor of my sister. Sorry mom, but she called me a piece of shit and suggested that CPS should come to my house, no I don’t want to spend Mother’s Day with her.

CircuitousWall
10
1 week ago

God, texting has completely changed parenting. I am so glad I grew up before it was common.

loki2002
4
1 week ago

Yeah, before you had to hear all of this in person. Soooo much better!

[deleted]
7
1 week ago

[deleted]

krl_snw
6
1 week ago

how old is your brother?

powerpuffvegan
5
1 week ago

12, turning 13 this month

krl_snw
8
1 week ago

Definitely knew better then. You have to right to be pissed..

powerpuffvegan
6
1 week ago

Agreed

adeerfa
6
1 week ago

this happens to me too :(( he always spits on or bites the gifts I’ve gotten from my friends and my mom always takes his side bc “he’s just playin” and just bc he’s had a surgery. It’s not like he had cancer or something. it’s immature bc he’s already 18.

thecuriousblackbird
2
1 week ago

I accidentally nicked the eye of my brother’s favorite stuffed animal when we were little. He scratched the eye of every single stuffed animal, doll, etc. until I moved out at 17, and that was more because he moved out. My dad got me a stuffed Coca Cola polar bear right before I moved out to go to a boarding school, and he scratched the eye before I left.

Some people are just nasty assholes.

lladyrose
6
1 week ago

Love how she tried the “whataboutism” tactic with “should I have held a grudge against your friend too?” Like shut up they have nothing to do with this.

CankerLord
5
1 week ago

Just remember, she's not reacting to the situation, she's reacting to the fact that the easiest way for the situation to be something she doesn't have to bother dealing with is if you just stop talking about it.

This isn't bad parental judgment, this is someone not even bothering to parent in the first place.

samsternator
5
1 week ago

Makes a valid point

parent: IS THAY DISREPRCT?

DiamondAxolotl
4
1 week ago

This subreddit makes me feel awful. I am lucky enough to have parents who treat me with respect. I can’t imagine having to deal with this everyday. For all you guys who who have to deal with stuff like this, my heart goes out to you.

Upsetti_Spaghetti_XD
2
1 week ago

omg the classic “if you don’t listen I won’t take you anywhere”

TheSteamedKarrot
3
1 week ago

This is so similar to what's going on with me right now.. my brother is pissed that the girl I warned him about cheated on him so he told ME that he hopes I lose my unborn child. Now I dont want him around my 2 year old and my mom keeps calling me a bitch and saying "this stress you're causing me is going to kill me". I tried to tell her the stress he causes me can kill my baby and she rolled her eyes and stormed out... ugh. I feel for you dude. In our mother's eyes, their sons can do no wrong.

LikkityLikLik
4
1 week ago

He spit everywhere? Why? How long did it take? What was his benefit? How much spit? I have many, many questions...

meatloafball
4
1 week ago

what the fuck is up w the constant victim blaming in these families... they always support the person hurting others... like why??? i don’t understand

WorldsBiggestChief
5
1 week ago

My mom does the same thing. She worries about her opinion more than yours. She’ll ask something and when you say no to it, she will say “I’m going to do it anyway!” No respect for anyone or their decisions.

SakuraNights
3
1 week ago

OP, please tell me you’re moving out of the city/state to go to college. Don’t give a damn like I did. I was an only child, but had to deal with years of verbal and emotional abuse from my mother. She lost her job and I put off going to college for two years out of a sense of guilt that she’d end up on the street.

Just keep your head down for now, get all your stuff together in preparation, and GTFO when the time comes. I wish you nothing but the best of luck.

LuKarxx
4
1 week ago

This is so fucking anoying, why do parents do this to their kids? Do they do this shit to their peers too, or just to their kids because they know they are the "authority"? What kind of selective narcisism is this? Bloody hell, and then they called you a bitch using a word that doesn't exist while holding a threat over your head, a threat that, judging by your response, looks like it was just made up on the spot. Seriously some people just have this God complex, they're always right and when you dare to challenge their infalible arguments from their omniscient little brains, you get called a bitch... because you aren't yet ready to forgive a brother that doesn't seem very worthy of trust, cuz, y'now, he spat in your room.

onelesstamarind
4
1 week ago

Can someone explain why parents don’t correct toxic / narcissistic siblings? Mine don’t either.

Obviously I don’t know your situation, OP, but this could be a teachable moment.

Either way, sorry to hear about your stress.

darkespeon64
4
1 week ago

At this point when I ask my mom to consult someone who knows what their talking about she just says "please dont" like when my mom said subway hand makes their dough so I offered to ask my friend who works there without telling him why (I've worked at Jimmy John's I know its frozen)

Sirfallsalot
3
1 week ago

This is my mother to a T, she would insult me and say she doesnt like taking me anywhere because I always had a sour face but she is too narcissistic to realise I only had it around her. Constant insults and demeaning conversations tend to leave you with a sour face.

krissy_the_witch
4
1 week ago

Insane

CosmosFactor
2
1 week ago

Parents

Isnomniac
2
1 week ago

Roll credits everyone!

thunderswift1
3
1 week ago

When your mom even gets mildly agitated just tell her to “stop her bitchiness”

AnnaEd64
3
1 week ago

This is awful. I hope you're at the age or near the age where you won't have to deal with this. Either that or it'll get to the point where your mom wants you to talk it out with the sibling that tried to kill you and get upset that you won't move back in with them like with my folks.

smokesmagoats
3
1 week ago

My mom does this too but she's nicer about it. She'll flat out lie and say X said they felt terrible/love you/regret it/are sorry/weren't aware, ect so that I forgive the person for being a dick when really they don't care what they did to me.

Kefky
3
1 week ago

"I won't drive you anywhere anymore", when you wash and vaccum the car every month and they already reluctenly pick you ap at 22.00 once every month or so.

[deleted]
3
1 week ago

You have just shown me that I'm not alone.... but I'm 38 and live in a family of enablers. I have a nephew that I let live with me for free because .... well some would say he's had a "Failure to launch," but it's more like, "Someone built a rocket ship out of a dogshit."

He's incredibly manipulative, addicted to drugs, and takes advantage of everyone that gives him a inch. Any time I call him out on any of it I get stories about shit I did when I was a kid and how it's okay because he's just "Growing."

YEAH! The kid grinding his teeth jerking like a retard to EDM music is just "Growing."

Haha some guy called me an enabler. What an idiot.

TheRealTres
3
1 week ago

Just shit all over his room and prance around the house happiest you ever been. Your right mom it's not good to hold grudges.

krazykwikkrane
3
1 week ago

This is literally how my mother argues. My brother hit me in the face with a pillow very very hard and bent my expensive glasses, and we went to a funeral afterwards and he made fun of my reaction to my relatives and I was upset and my mom was like sToP HOdiNg A gRUuuDge

DesignatedDrunkard
3
1 week ago

Got some bad news for you, kid.

You're not the favourite.

Myell98
3
1 week ago

Plot twist: brother is 2 years old and can’t help it

97nobody
3
1 week ago

I guess we all know who’s the favorite! That really sucks

The_Changerang
3
1 week ago

I hate when the resort to comments like that. Just because they're the parent does not mean they have to be right all the time.

That's the mentality of alot of parents. "Oh I'm the mom/dad! So I have to be right!" Like no. No you don't.

I'm sorry you have to deal with this shit. My condolences

isse_la_chancle
3
1 week ago

So he spits on you for no reason and your mom threatens YOU ?! As an older brother, I feel your pain. Just talk sincerely to her about the injustice that you feel and if she does not listen, find a friend that can let you live with him for a week or two. She'll learn to love like her son and not like a monster to your younger brother.

Saki_01
3
1 week ago

My mum was always siding with my brother even if it wasn't fair. I often watched things wearing headphones whilst on the computer but my brother had his game on the tv so loud you couldn't hear anything but the game. As soon as I complained she'd say, "He has the right to play in his own house" but me no longer being able to do what I wanted to meant I was just being nasty and selfish.

Julesthecutiepie
3
1 week ago

Currently in the room listening to my dad In another room talking about how I dropped out of college (parents refused to put their tax information on fasfa, leading my grandma to rushing help me with 3000 in debt after everything) they refused because they lied to multiple government. There was an argument today where my parents stole my SSI number and opened a credit card, and I finally found out and reported it. I told them today.

I can't wait to move out.

Jex4334
3
1 week ago

Tell that boomer to silence herself

LeonardoMcdouchebag
3
1 week ago

For 18 years if we had an argument and I made any real points that mattered she'd back down WAY too much and start talking about how she's the worst mother possible. She would deteriorate into talking about how I should just leave to live with extended family and stuff, it was all to force myself to compliment her so she could feel justified.

sso_1
3
1 week ago

I can’t understand what the fuck is wrong with some people. Why do they have kids when they can’t handle being a parent?

SmolBriby
3
1 week ago

Whenever my mom did this when i was younger I would just tell myself- yeah treat me like shit now and when Im the only one of your kids who isnt in jail I will gladly put u in the shittiest retirement home around🤷‍♀️

SuggestiveMaterial
3
1 week ago

"Does that make you feel good? Threatening me like that?"

I said something similar to my mom and she stopped calling me names during a fight. Now she just says she's a bad mom and I do not disagree.

Cooballz
2
1 week ago

The more I read this shit the happier I am that my crazy mom couldn't text me when I was a kid. Technology has its down falls.

Scraps23
2
1 week ago

Asking leading and loaded questions like that is a textbook sign of narcissism (not any leading/loaded questions, but in this specific way). She has a set idea on how she wants this conversation to play out so instead of speaking to you, she'll attempt to control the conversation as much as possible.

She responds that way because you haven't given her what she's been wanting/planning.

0bsidiaX
2
1 week ago

She nuts

Smileyface8156
2
1 week ago

This. Every time my mom and I argue she’s like “Do you even want to go to X place?” I immediately think “Yes, but I disagree with you, so I’m going to nod my head until the trip is over and you run out of ammunition for a while.”

joshmcc152
2
1 week ago

Wait did you see him spit everywhere or just see the aftermath because that could be something other than spit

powerpuffvegan
2
1 week ago

oh i witnessed it. he did it right in front of me

icecreamqueen96
2
1 week ago

I feel you, I once had an aloe vera plant that I kept in our shared bathroom my brother cut it all up and left all the dirt and plant bits in the sink. He never cleaned it up or got in trouble for it. That day I knew my mom was a cunt muffin and only liked "disciplining" me and my sister the most. He got smacked like 70% less then us aside from when he failed to do his hw or failed a test but he definilty got away with so much more than we did.

SwanofWar
2
1 week ago

My mom always did the same. She would punish me for having an opinion different than hers or disagreeing on a fact.

TrebleMajor
2
1 week ago

My mom does the "oh this happened to me and I didnt handle it like that" crap all the time. Like cool mom, but this isn't about you

Ittzzy
2
1 week ago

Spit on her stuff

Lunaris94
2
1 week ago

Best way i dealt with this with my dad when he threatened me by taking my stuff away if i had "attitude" when giving a valid argument was to not care. A simple "okay" or "go for it". It stumped him. They want you to argue back, it gives them ammunition to use against you. Literally not caring takes away any thing they can use.

Just be so passive.

switchedonfrenchfry
2
1 week ago

My mom has always defended my oldest brother and acted like I was the problem even though he was always a shit head. Constantly bullying me, stealing from me, and being a general asshole. Her responses were always “GET OVER IT.” “YOU’RE JUST BEING A BITCH!” I really sympathize for what you’re going through. Just know things get better when you get away. I recently brought up the whole situation with my mom about how she allowed my brother to bully me and beat me up. She just said “YOURE A GROWN WOMAN SO GET OVER IT!!!” And that’s her typical response to everything tbh because she can’t take responsibility for anything. It’s infuriating.

CanadaSoonFree
2
1 week ago

Congrats! You’ve reached a higher maturity level than your parent!

Granuaile11
2
1 week ago

Is your brother the Golden Child who can do no wrong? Or is your mom harassing him for his behavior, too?

Nothing gets resolved by rug sweeping the issues, if she wants the argument to stop, tell her brother needs to apologize and not Freaking SPIT On ANYTHING!!! What would she do if he SPIT all over HER ROOM?!?! OMFG, the more I think about this, the angrier I get!!! 🤬😡😠🤢

Paxilluspax
2
1 week ago

Wow, is your mother actually my dad? The greatest atrocity he knows is a well structured argument

rigidroughneck
2
1 week ago

Spit all over her room, then tell her to forgive you minutes after.

flowerjae
2
1 week ago

my father did that too

despacito9001
2
1 week ago

looks like biasedness coming from the mom

xxCrimson013xx
2
1 week ago

I would’ve replied with just “ok 👌”

Falconflyer7
2
1 week ago

Shit like this is why I gave up even talking to them

OnyxFox89
2
1 week ago

I literally feel like parents like this had children just to have a sense of power.

Sinful_Cat
2
1 week ago

This seems like your brother is the “favorite child that’s a little bitch”

insert_lennyface
2
1 week ago

This is sadly relatable.

FoxtrotDreemurr
2
1 week ago

My mom would have kicked his ass

EsachIsLearning
2
1 week ago

Insane parent texts should be its own sub.

Skidlyboop
2
1 week ago

Same dude, I can't be mad at my brother for any reason, but when he's mad at me my parents listen to him completely

colint1022
2
1 week ago

Can agree that whenever there is a valid point made by us they say because I said so or something along those lines

DeerBoyDiary
2
1 week ago

This is all too common sadly

bikemandan
2
1 week ago

I am a parent and stumble upon this sub every so often. What I cannot understand is how a parent feels that having a serious conversation via text message is at all appropriate (leaving aside the obvious ridiculousness of calling your child a bitch). Why parents, why

SirSureSire
2
1 week ago

I want everyone on this subreddit to see this stuff through the eyes of a 30 year old... Its hilarious.

cinderparty
2
1 week ago

Why is your mom not more upset over this spitting thing?

Darielthesinner
2
1 week ago

-What are talking about, I don't go to anywhere.

That's what I would say, and in my case it would be true

The-Sharkpin
2
1 week ago

My mom is the same way

lolinyourdreams
2
1 week ago

Holy shit, we have the same mom!?

Teleportingcarl
2
1 week ago

just spit in a cup for a few days and spill it on his bed

flyinglilastroboy
2
1 week ago

they have too much dignity to admit they are wrong

SlenderGordun
2
1 week ago

This is definitely how you properly and maturely work through emotions with your child.

Kyal_B05
2
1 week ago

Lol that’s the exact same as my parents

_Libby_
2
1 week ago

How old are you? If you're nearing 18 I'd secretly start planning moving out so when you can you could get out ASAP

TTtonyTT
2
1 week ago

Lots of people had shitty parents and never knew there was any other way. Be the one to break the cycle.

OttoManSatire
2
1 week ago

OT but thank you for putting the time into editing this so that it's comprehensible and easy to look at.

rentalghini
2
1 week ago

Of course someone would still be mad about something if it'd only happened the night before.

nahidtislam
2
1 week ago

if your phone is set to let people to know that you’ve read their message, stop sending her read receipts and ignored her message if she annoys you through texts.

You can peak on their messages by 3D Touching (search up 3D Touch of you don’t what I mean) her name on the messages app. This will allow you to read her messages without marking it as read

Wanking_the_dog
2
1 week ago

“Should I have held a grudge against ____?”

“Lmao you do you. I’m responsible for my own grudge.”

Or just spit on her and ask her if she’s holding a grudge until he decides to forgive you.

Captainx23
2
1 week ago

My mother called me a bitch because I wouldn't go to dinner with my brother after he stole all my video games.

SublimeSunshine217
2
1 week ago

Are we related? This sounds like my mom

Turd_Ferguson9190
2
1 week ago

Ugh. I'm sorry your mom sucks. Mine does, too.

CLG_BIG_BOI
2
1 week ago

Spit everywhere in her room to see how she likes it

Sassy_Shark
2
1 week ago

My mom and step dad do the same thing, it’s so fucking annoying

Yogi_dat_Bear
2
1 week ago

Guess we know who the favorite child is. Sorry for your situation.

Whatsmyname2322
2
1 week ago

My mom is the same way, my oldest brother is her favorite and her never do wrong kid.

WolfusBlue
2
1 week ago

Every time, if we have valid points, we're talking back, if we get upset for valid reasons, we're overreacting/being dramatic, flipping insane!

coffeeadictfox
2
1 week ago

How dare you hold a grudge againat your brother, in gonna hold a grudge against you just for that

xdCaitlin
2
1 week ago

Very my mom lol

HarleySMASH
2
1 week ago

I’m currently not talking to my sister and my dad keeps at me to forgive her because ‘family’ fuck that. Keep strong, you are in the right.

dreamitdreambig
2
1 week ago

Sounds like you are much smarter and much more mature than you parent. Keep educating yourself. They can never take that away from you, and then you can end the cycle of crappy parenting.

Quantainium
2
1 week ago

I too have a 13 year old brother named Nathan.

jknack3
2
1 week ago

I never knew this sub existed, but I’ve finally found my Home Page on Chrome. Thanks for giving me the completely dis functional family I never knew I had. Love y’all, the parents will hopefully come around sometime...

Subscribe_to_Tseries
2
1 week ago

Insane as hell

ksitsjtstkydyx
2
1 week ago

forgiveness doesn’t equal reconciliation.

Sir-peesalot
2
1 week ago

this does happens to me, but honestly I can’t complain about it because they are still amazing parents on the regular, and I browse this subreddit just to see how crazy it gets

clearcasemoisture
2
1 week ago

It's crazy because she KNOWS you two will work it out eventually, that's what siblings DO.

mrdavidrt
2
1 week ago

Can everyone stop having arguments over text. It never works out well

GonJumpOffACliff
2
1 week ago

What's the context?

IrreverentSweetie
2
1 week ago

Holy crap! Wishing you the best!

WhatDoIMakeOfThis
2
1 week ago

Go spit all over her room and see if she holds a grudge.

galactic_catsss
2
1 week ago

My mum in a nutshell. God these are too close sometimes

resles89
2
1 week ago

Your brother spit every where in your room, you didn’t drop kick him, and just need space to be upset with him for a while?

Okay.

You’re a good kid. Mom needs to be a little understanding here.

Jkay9008
2
1 week ago

Ahhh then he’s unjustifiably shitty. I’m sorry to hear that

microwavablecat
2
1 week ago

buy a cyclocross/gravel/road bike. and ride where ever you want

run_fast-eat_ass
2
1 week ago

what the actual fuck

narnii
2
1 week ago

Oh god my mum is the exact same way. And when I try to reason with her she just makes annoyed "ehh" sounds at me and mocks me.

Sorry you gotta deal with this, mate

TheCraftyHermit
2
1 week ago

Is your brother by chance a llama?

EpicPwu
2
1 week ago

Have you ever asked that if your brother came into her room and spit everywhere, would she like it?