do you want tea 🍵... or do you want POISON ☠️🤮🤭🥵⁉️
"I'll be having the tea from this whole other teapot. I assure they are both the same brew."
Never go up against a Thithilian, when death is on the line!
Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha h--
I have spent the last few years building up an immunity to iocaine powder.
You keep saying that word.
That’th whath tho funny! I thwitched the glatheth when your back wath turned! Haha you fool!
The only thing missing from this image is Donald Trump downing a whole teapot in the background.
The politics needs to stop
Edit: I mean the shoehorned Donald Trump. Putin is fine
a picture of three political leaders
surprised when it it becomes political
a picture of three political leaders
surprised when it it becomes political
I think they're more upset about politics being shoehorned into a random post (again) than the political picture leading to more politics.
It's not that big of a leap to bring up the guy who uses tea to poison people in a post about using tea to poison people.
Especially when the picture used features him serving up tea.
And tea probably has some pretty big political history by itself too.
Literally everything is politics honestly. It's inseparable from nearly every aspect of our lives
This post is about a teapot for an assassin and there’s literally a leader of a current world power famous for having his government assassins kill someone with tea.
Trump fans need their safe spaces.
Fair enough. If this is where the thread is headed, full speed ahead. Choo Choo!
The only thing missing from this picture is Hilary Clinton serving tea to Seth Rich.
Christ, shut the fuck up
Tell me you believe QANON is real too
ironic considering what /r/politics has become
Random post? It's called an assassin's teapot. What motivates most assassinations? Politics. What else would you expect in the comments?
I get you in general, but this post is literally about poisoning people with tea. Having a picture of the most famous guy ordering a tea based assassination show up is as likely as flies showing up at cow dung.
Not shoehorning in the slightest.
Politics plays a central role in everyone's life, when you have such a divisive figure in the spotlight, it's irresponsible to not talk about politics so much.
"Why do you have to turn everything into politics?" laments the German Nazi-voter in 1946, upset that people keep bringing up Hitler all the time when his country is mentioned.
You know what shoehorns remind me of? HOW BAD ORANG MAN IS! HIYOOOOOO!
That’s fair, but I feel like he replied to the wrong comment if so.
post about cute puppies
"FACISM IS ALIVE AND WELL IN AMERICA!"
Three political leaders, none of them being trump.
He's a Trump supporting snowflake. He's not upset that politics was brought up. He's upset it's shitting on the dumbass he loves. He's just framing it the other way because like the fucksticks "president" he loves getting cucked by, he's a dishonest little fuck who lies all the time.
Absolute hatred in your heart. 😘
I'm not wrong though. 😘
Zip zop zoop
Your president is poop
Pip pop puntree
The Trumps are traitors to our country.
End yourself cucklord
Lick a fork
Zip Zippity Zocket
Stick it in an electric socket!
Fukin edgelord9000 over here, look at this guy, he used cuck as an insult, how does he come up with these burns?
You incels are wild.
Nah. They're actually pretty domesticated. They can often be found in their parents' basements.
surely the other middle schoolers will think you're cool NOW
Because if we just don’t talk about it...it goes away...
Literally 95% of your post history is right wing punditry pussyfooting around like devil's advocate contrariness. Fuck you.
Well see, punching down & making fun of oppressed minorities is funny & saying otherwise makes you a snowflake campus nazi, but punching up & going after the oppressors who actually have power is just in bad taste /s.
Call of the trumpet
Why? Politics exist, you can't hide from them forever. Either join in the conversation or go in your corner and cry like a baby.
I just don’t want to talk about Donald Trump right now. I’m not trying to hide from politics forever.
Downing a gallon of McDonald's Sweet Tea
Putin grounded him, so he couldn't make it.
Tea is too healthy for Donald. He wouldn't drink that stuff.
Stop shoehorning trump in to everything its really boring and unfunny
Orange man.... bad?
Bad man orange!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 🍊
HAHAHAHAHA TRUMP JOKE HAHAHAHA
Still upset about the loss? Gotta get over it you have 6 more years of Trump.
go back to /r/politics
I don't like r/politics, too much of an echo chamber. But if you can't stand one single Trump joke go back to crying in a little corner.
you don't like /r/politics yet you'd fit right in
Crazy how these topics can’t be easily confined, eh? It’s almost like everyone is affected by them.
Get off the internet.
Holy shit is that real?
yes, they had tea party at kremlin in 2017 (see last photo in this article)
But are they actually denying it or just more?
Either way, you couldn't pay me enough money in the world to take tea served from Putin.
Putin isn't going to poison anyone. Too much publicity. I would be hesitant to have tea with one of his anonymous lackeys if I were someone important.
Yeah but it might have cum in it or something.
PROBABLY HOOKER PISS
Not that he'd do it ro a world leader in front of cameras, but you can be damn sure murders people all the time and gets away with it.
I don't believe Putin personally murders anyone these days. There's just very little reason for him to risk himself like that. I have no doubt that he's occasionally responsible for murders though.
Of course he doesn't personally do it, he has people do it for him. It's literally been proven he's a murderer.
That was my point. The original comment was about declining tea with Putin out of fear of being poisoned. I stated that I doubted there was any danger of being personally murdered by Putin, so the tea was probably safe. I've no doubt that he, along with many other world leaders have ordered their lackeys to murder.
My guess would be that he's offering milk and they're declining because they're not savages.
One of them ordered the murder and dismembering of a journalist. Savage would be putting it lightly. But I think you're being facetious.
..I was just making a joke by shitting on the English, lighten up for gods sake
I'd pay him $3.50 for a cuppa
Hahaha I love it
Cake or Death?
Love me some old Eddie Izard his earth Vader bits are hilarious
Cake or death part is at 4 minutes 45 seconds, in case anyone's wondering.
I guess they never death, huh 🤔
you thought you could outwit me?!
Never go against a Sicilian when DEATH is on the line! Ahahaha!
dies in Sicilian
Oh, right, the poison. The poison for Kuzco. The poison designed specifically to kill Kuzco. Kuzco's poison.
YES THAT POISON!
Heading to Cusco, Peru tomorrow and this has been going through my head for the past two weeks! Thanks for the unknown solidarity.
Delectable tea or deadly poison?
White dragon bush, or white jade bush...
Both of you fuck off
Cake, or death??
We're all out of cake.
So my choice is “Or Death”?
I’ll have the chicken then, please.
For some reason it took this comment for me to realize why it's called that. I need coffee.
I'll have poison with cream and two sugars, please
Give me both.
Ive been poisoned by reading this comment
Cake or death
Hmm rare white dragon bush, that, or it’s the white jade plant which is poisonous...delectable tea or deadly poison...
You better be carfeful in france. Poison and Poisson are too similar.
And in German. Gift is poison.
"Why is my cup all white?"
It’s milk of the puppy
Knowing your skills with tea...I'd choose the poison
¿Por que no los dos?
"Uh, death, please. No, cake tea! Tea! Tea, sorry. Sorry..."
Cake or death?
Why so many upvotes the emojis kill it for me
Are you this facebook guy everybody's upset about?
Delectable tea...or deadly poison?
Do you do poison
Fucking simpleton scum we shouldve genocided you while we could.
More like do you want piss or cum
birds poop/pee the same way
and chickens lay eggs through the same hole for a three in one shit piss egg salmonella fest.
...Aww, I liked eggs :(
We knew that some users may take issue, so we wrapped the Egg™ in a protective shell like we did the popular Banana™.
What you did with the Banana™ was great.
Could you put a little knob on the Egg™ so it's easier to peel the shell off, like you have on the Banana™? I don't want tiny bits of shell in my Egg™ recipes.
If you put a banana in the refrigerator, the peel will turn dark brown or black, but it won't affect the fruit inside.
I'm a Bot bleep bloop | Unsubscribe | 🍌
Who has so much time they made a banana bot...good bot though. (Does everyone else sing B A N A N A spelling it?)
Research shows that eating bananas may lower the risk of heart attacks and strokes, as well as decrease the risk of getting some cancers.
Oh shit I forgot I had a banana, gonna eat that goodness so hard now
That's bananas! B A N A N AS
Every single time hahaha
As someone who can only eat slightly unripe bananas, this is an absolutely true trick I’ve used for years.
Definitely. Even after it cools down the texture feels like an unripe banana
You forgot to mention it will stay edible longer.
Isn’t that implied?
Gee, thanks multi-billion dollar corporation! I can always count on you to have my best interests in mind! Now, thanks to you, I can love eggs again!
Disclaimer: We are legally obligated to disclose this was a fully paid product sponsorship and user experience may vary.
Nerf cancer that shit is OP as fuck
Naw. They're leaving that in as a challenge to modders
American eggs have to be refrigerated because they pasteurize them. They're somewhat clean by the time they get on the shelf.
Washed, not pasteurized. There are pasteurized in-shell eggs out there, but it's a relatively recent development, and most eggs you see in the store are not pasteurized.
The split in refrigerating or not refrigerating eggs is all about washing them.
In the UK as long as the eggs you buy have a little red lion symbol on them, it means the chickens were inoculated and you can eat them raw with no worries
The eggs I have at work are pasteurized, but not my home eggs, both say keep refrigerated.
I've never actually seen pasteurized eggs in the store where I'm at.
There’s a reason to like them even more now.
Working title for Fyre Fest?
I doubt that
It’s called a cloaca and the platypus shares one as well
Platypus has to be one of the weirdest animal to exist. Everything about them is confusing.
An animal made entirely of spare parts
So does the platypus
I’d like to thank the black lady (Sipsy?) from Fried Green Tomatoes for informing me of this as a child. I thought the “shoot right out a chickens ass” line was hilarious until I realized it was true.
a three in one shit piss egg salmonella fest
a three in one shit piss egg salmonella fest
Only if they aren't vaxxed.
First World Farming for life!
Yeah, first world meat industry is not what id call ideal under any circumstances.
It is called a cloaca, thank you very much!
Ahh yes. The ever useful cloaca. Us mammals (except platypus) do not get to enjoy the wonders of our butt/pee and birth hole not being the same thing.
Is something wrong with you?
It's called a cloaca
They use a teapot?
humans cum/pee the same way
Women poop and give birth from the same hole, so NBD.
Babies come from the butt right?
So THAT'S why my GF never allows me to do anal!
Yeah, she might be pregnant. If you fuck a pregnant woman in her butt, you could make the baby pregnant too. That's how you get twins.
When I was really young my friend told me he came from his mom's butt, and that's why he was black but his mom and brother were white. I thought that was fucking weird but went with it I guess. I brought it up later on and my dad was struggling to breathe from laughing so hard while my mom was like "WHAT?! HE'S ADOPTED! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!"
Oh my god I hope that's what his parents told him, that's amazing
From a teapot??
Don't girls do it like this too?
Totally. Baby comes out of their belly through there.
Ah yes the cloaka
Birds don’t pee
It's more that the two happen together. Birds don't have watery piss, they make uric acid instead. This is what makes the white acidic paste in "bird shit". This is mixed with their actual faeces prior to being expelled.
I'm pretty sure girls do too.........pretty sure
Scientist - can confirm
More /r/mildlyinteresting, unless you can't figure out how this thing works by the obvious movements in the video?
I don't think I've ever seen someone handle a teapot so awkwardly.
I'm fairly certain I could lift my thumb off the hole without having to move every other finger on both hands
If you watch the original there’s actually two holes, one of which is on the bottom of the handle. So in actual fact he had to move his other fingers as well as moving his thumb. (I.E simultaneously uncovering the top hole and covering the bottom one.)
Ah, okay. Fair enough. There still must be a way to do that without looking so awkward.
some assassins are awkward.
yes we exist
get over it!
and the person who witnessed your awkwardness is about to be fucking dead.
Yes, it's called a lot of bowing and gracious distraction after you pour your guest's drink and before you pour the next, giving you time to shuffle your hands.
Penn and Teller can do cups and balls with clear cups for crying out loud, it's always in the sleights and distractions.
If you cover either hole the coresponding liquid comes out, if you cover neither hole they both come out.
So if you were to poison somone you would pour yours first with a hole covered then lift your thumb and pour the other so both tea and poison come out.
Yeah but to clearly show the mechanism, he has to cover one at a time so that ir's obvious
Maybe he did it purposefully so it's clear to see
If that was his aim, he should have put the teapot down and taken his hands off it between pours. Then he could clearly point to the hole.
This teapot has been posted many times and I've never seen it demonstrated so awkwardly. It's like watching a 5 year old do a card trick.
Of course the design can be a lot more discreet: you can have both holes on the handle next to each other, so you just have to move the thumb.
That's pretty cool.
Good one, Capt’n.
There's a second hole by the handle. He's got to cover that one while uncovering the top one. That's why it looks weird.
If I remeber, he was holding it that way because he was showing how he uses his fingers to switch between liquids.
I’d like to see the hands of a Geisha do this demonstration
Yeah that was more /r/mildlyinfuriating
It's more r/intrestingasfuck if I'm being honest, but maybe I'm just easily amazed
Are you saying this belongs in r/BeAmazed now? Which is it chico?
Hmm...I do not know if I'm being honest.. try posting it there and if you get upvoted, it belongs
It looks to me like they're using an air seal to choose which thing to pour and if that's true it seems that it would be easy to accidentally mix the two
Which is why you only use it on special occasions, like when Karen comes over
I realize you may be constrained by doctor-patient confidentiality, but how is therapy going in Penisland?
/r/blackmagicfuckery /r/Damnthatsinteresting and /r/interestingasfuck are all the same sub, and all should collapse back into /r/mildlyinteresting where they belong
Reason they grew away from mildlyinteresting was because of the OC rule.
I wish all subreddits had a "no repost" rule. I also wish mods actually did something about it in subs that actually have the rule
My intellect forbids me from comprehending the workings of this teapot
I can’t figure it out :/
Me neither, I tried googling it and best I could find was this explanation from when it was posted two years ago:
Thanks man, appreciate it!
I know those hands
WATER FROM THE NILE
W A T E R F R O M T H E N I L E
T E A F R O M T H E N I L E
POISON FROM THE NILE
Balloons! I love them.
Grand illusions is the chillest thing, I love it.
the Bob Ross of the toy industry, Tim is a national treasure
I would like to know where I can acquire such a thing.
For... A friend?
I do not have any friends.
There you go. I found the assassin guys!
Not after having this teapot you won't
Since... the accident
Why do people say ope sorry or oap or stuff like that
Cause here in the midwest we're nice
More like for an enemy
The CIA wants to know your location
Yes, they do.
That is all they exist for.
it would be more accurate if they said "The CIA already knows your locations...and your Dinner plans"
That is easy.
I am dining with folk who believe that they are my friends.
Damn. They know me better than me. I don't even know my dinner plans.
FBI would make more sense
Only if he's assassinating people domestically. Could be a globe-trotting assassin.
I'd assume that most potential assassinations would happen on foreign land
The Nile in China, you say?
The grand illusions website
Yeah, I saw it - it is a lot of money for an ugly version.
I have been looking elsewhere to no avail, so far.
Thank you, however.
Better make sure to pour yours first or it will cross contaminate at the spout.
I've spent the past two years building up immunity to iocane powder.
You keep using that word, I do not think it means what you think it means.
Does anybody want a peanut
That would not be fun
Yeah it stings
Name checks out
Yea i was wondering how you could do that and not kill yourself by doing it. You would think it would be most polite to pour the guest/victim tea first.
Just have a poison which won't kill you in trace amounts.
Put antidote in your half, so it cured the poison when mixed.
I read the title as "Asshole teapot"
Still a good title if you're the one being assassinated.
"Killed by an Asshole pot of tea - RIP" that'd be a fun epitaph
If it was shaped as a bird, you'd be technically correct
Press x to doubt
Delectable tea? Or deadly poison?
Sick of tea? That's like being sick of breathing!
Found the brit.
Found 21 Savage
Not even slightly.
Found Uncle Iroh
General Iroh was definitely not British.
Sorry, did not get the reference.
Its to die for!
TIL my dick is an assassins teapot.
So your pee is dark brown?
Do you not poo from ur dick????
This mp4 version is 69.46% smaller than the gif (915.57 KB vs 2.93 MB).
Beep, I'm a bot. FAQ | author | source | v1.1.2
Water from the Nile.
Shout out to Tim from Grand Illusion! He's super chill and quirky gramp with passion for toys and trickets. Please support him by checking his YouTube channel!
A similar design was used in Formula 1 race cars until it was banned
There was a small port in the driver’s cockpit, on the fast sections of the circuit the driver would cover the port with the back of their hand or elbow.
Fast flowing air would redirect through a duct and stall the rear wing thereby decreasing downforce and the car would go faster until the driver uncovered the port again ready for the corner sections where downforce is required
Is there a reason it was banned? Did that count as cheating or something? I know nothing about F1 except car go fast.
Probably dangerous as hell lol . Flippin cars n shit.
The governing body wants to keep a level playing field with as few shenanigans as possible. For the teams it becomes a game of circumventing the rules in ways that aren't explicitly disallowed.
I think in this particular case, variable-downforce wings were already prohibited and that made it actually cheating.
It likely went against the "moveable aerodynamic device" rule (something along those lines) that was put in place to prevent cars that had wings that moved, fans sucking air from under the car, etc. It's similar to how one year they had wings made of flexible carbon fiber that would flex at high speed and stall, until that got banned too. Formula 1 is basically an arms race of people trying to skirt the rules legally and the rulemakers making more restrictive rules while also trying to allow innovation. I believe moving wings are currently legal (or at least they were recently, unless that's changed), so the hole workaround is basically useless within the current ruleset.
It wasn't cheating, just a clever way to get around some of the rules and regulations. The FIA changed the regulations to ban the use of mechanics like the aforementioned F-duct because they wanted to have more regulated control over how teams are able to manipulate the aerodynamics of the cars.
The thing you have to realise with F1 is that it is essentially a perpetual battle between the teams and the regulatory body, where the teams are trying to use loopholes and technicalities to give themselves an advantage. Ironically the FIA have clamped down on innovation so much that the only thing which determines the constructors championship is who has the best engine, so they've effectively made the sport more boring than it ever has been.
It was so clever even the authorities admired it. But there was general consensus amongst most teams that it should be banned in the interest of safety (so drivers could keep their hands focused on the wheel as much as possible).
The team that invented it designed their car around it and wanted it to staybthe following year but eventually agreed
It was called the F-duct because the inlet duct was exactly where the ‘f’ of their Vodafone sponsor decal was on their car
Called the F-duct. Iirc mcclaren made it first, and theirs was operated by blocking the flow of air with the drivers left knee.
The reason it worked was because air was directed past the drivers knee, and then into a duct which carried air to a part of the rear wing. In normal operation this flow of air is undisturbed and produces downforce (good, allows quicker cornering speeds) and drag (bad, reduces acceleration and top speed). When the driver moved their left knee to block this flow of air, the aerodynamics of the rear wing are completely different and stall. The result is a large drop in downforce and drag. This is ideal on straights where cornering grip isn't needed but the decreased drag gives extra acceleration and top speed.
There has to be a less awkward and obvious way to hold that teapot to pour multiple cups.
Not really, there a second hole by the handle he's having to cover up. This gif doesn't show the full extent of its design.
World's least sneaky assassin's teapot then?
Why would cream be an assassin..... Oh.... Took me a second.
Water from the Nile!
Seems like that is going to be hard to clean.
Water from the nile
Is a teapot that can switch between two chambers of liquid really "black magic fuckery"?
Black logic fuckery
I bought this teapot a few years ago. Bit pricey, but it makes a great party trick! The reactions I got over the last two years made up for the price.
How is this black magic?
But then the milk will be warm when it goes in...
... so you want lukewarm tea?
I want boiling hot tea (if that’s what is specified for that blend) and then ice cold milk (or a dairy free alternative for me) so that it is the perfect temperature to drink immediately!
(In truth I don’t add milk to tea, and barely add any sweetener either.)
I've never heard of adding milk to tea before, I'm slightly disgusted, but also intrigued
Really? Milk in black tea is extremely common, it's the standard way to drink it even.
it's the standard way to drink Earl Grey for example.
it's the standard way to drink Earl Grey for example.
I know a few people who object to milk in Earl Grey (I don't mind either way, but I would definitely not say it's standard). I've found it's much more common with English breakfast.
The British do it. They're weird like that.
No we absolutely do not.
Only the degenerates who are quickly sent away.
You know you put milk in your tea captain slow
misread as adding milk before tea, yeah of course we put it in.
I've only done that when I have limited time and have to drink fast.
Unless the tea is cold.
Tim is honestly the best
Anyone seeking more info might also check here:
Source: karmadecay (B = bigger)
Really looking for r/thingscutnhalf
Why is it "so called"? Isn't it actually called the Assassin's Teapot?
smiles in british
The so called "assassin's Teapot" for the lactose intolerant.
My girlfriend has a little novelty she calls a "poisoner's ring." Looks like a normal ring, with a tiny compartment inside of it.
Only if you plan to assassinate a non-British person with all that milk in his tea.
Only works on people who are allergic to milk
Called the "Assassin's teapot", but the only use shown in the video is to separate milk from tea. A little hyperbolic don't you think?
... the assassin would have tea in both chambers and one would be poison.
I'm saying you COULD use it for assassination, but the most practical use would be to separate milk. It's sort of like looking at a tool and calling it "the assassin's blade", when it's just an axe or something.
The video looks like it came from a 90s FMV computer game
I think these things are so neat, I have seen similar ones on here before does anybody have gifs?
Wiping out the lactose intolerant one milky tea at a time...
Ah one is supposed to be lethal. Cool!
Delectable tea? Or deadly poison?
God damn how much milk? That is not tea Sir...
Not so much black magic more fluid dynamics, the chambers are poured from when there is a complete "circuit" for air to flow in. Removing the thumb from the hole allows the chamber with milk in it to flow
Is there a switch?
it peed and then jizzed. like a dick.
Feel the magic haha
A latch is now “black magic rickety”?
Oh boy do I love that channel. It’s one of the best even created
Why are the holes so big?
Never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line!
Online anketlere katılarak hediyeler kazanabilirsiniz. Sitelere üye ol anketlere katıl hediyeni kap. www.turkiyeninseipaneli.com ve www.giyinkusan.com
Hey, just would like to know where to acquire such product. Just asking for a friend yes?
I just watched the 20/20 on the black widow and this is basically that but more zen
Cumin after you piss
Assassinating people with semen allergies since 1492.
idk why i updoot dis evry tym
Whats the modern day version of this hmm..
Speaking as a straight, middle-aged man, can we just agree Tim is adorable?
He's the very essence of befuddlement... or something close to that.
His way of talking and accent are somehow the perfect characterization of a reserved, yet somehow excited, Elderly Gentleman.
There was a "Tim" Character in every 50's-80's live Disney film, and probably every single mid-century BBC production ever.
I can't watch more than one vid of his at a time, but once a month or so, I sit in wonder, watching The Master Toy-God.
Shut up and take my money
Ah, so that’s how it’s done.
This has been reposted more times than Betty Whites seen a dick.
Why does it look NOT Russian?
Holy crap, it's Tim-senpai!
Damn, I have been exposed
This is now the top post on reddit. It will be recorded at /r/topofreddit with all the other top posts.
This makes sense, I think there is a switch on the teapot itself
I finally get to plug this guy. Go subscribe to grand illusions. 10/10 very wholesome.
Button on handle
Nope. That's a hole, covering the hole stops the poison coming out.