The so called "Assassin's Teapot"
15643 upvotes
411 comments
Mass1m01973
1 week ago
The so called "Assassin's Teapot"
spillycup
3431
1 week ago

do you want tea 🍵... or do you want POISON ☠️🤮🤭🥵⁉️

KHRoN
1466
1 week ago
Devilheart
613
1 week ago

"I'll be having the tea from this whole other teapot. I assure they are both the same brew."

CatBedParadise
120
1 week ago

Never go up against a Thithilian, when death is on the line!

_Burgers_
35
1 week ago

Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha h--

CatBedParadise
1
1 week ago

I have spent the last few years building up an immunity to iocaine powder.

PetePeteface
19
1 week ago

Inconceivable!

TheLoneWanderer220
2
1 week ago
CatBedParadise
1
1 week ago

You keep saying that word.

ArtemisShanks
5
1 week ago

That’th whath tho funny! I thwitched the glatheth when your back wath turned! Haha you fool!

DarKKlouDz
3
1 week ago

Lol

SomeKindaGiantBird
178
1 week ago

The only thing missing from this image is Donald Trump downing a whole teapot in the background.

itsmiir
126
1 week ago

Hippity hop

The politics needs to stop

Edit: I mean the shoehorned Donald Trump. Putin is fine

elitec0re
208
1 week ago

a picture of three political leaders

surprised when it it becomes political

PingPongNinja
74
1 week ago

I think they're more upset about politics being shoehorned into a random post (again) than the political picture leading to more politics.

_Muzak_
104
1 week ago

It's not that big of a leap to bring up the guy who uses tea to poison people in a post about using tea to poison people.

Valensiakol
55
1 week ago

Especially when the picture used features him serving up tea.

Greymore
15
1 week ago

And tea probably has some pretty big political history by itself too.

QueenCadwyn
6
1 week ago

Literally everything is politics honestly. It's inseparable from nearly every aspect of our lives

Bombingofdresden
65
1 week ago

Shoehorned?

This post is about a teapot for an assassin and there’s literally a leader of a current world power famous for having his government assassins kill someone with tea.

mtaw
41
1 week ago

Trump fans need their safe spaces.

SumtingNice2Say
3
1 week ago

Fair enough. If this is where the thread is headed, full speed ahead. Choo Choo!

The only thing missing from this picture is Hilary Clinton serving tea to Seth Rich.

Bombingofdresden
15
1 week ago

Christ, shut the fuck up

atx3000
7
1 week ago

Tell me you believe QANON is real too

inkedberry
-1
1 week ago

ironic considering what /r/politics has become

Ih8Hondas
29
1 week ago

Random post? It's called an assassin's teapot. What motivates most assassinations? Politics. What else would you expect in the comments?

letmeseem
22
1 week ago

I get you in general, but this post is literally about poisoning people with tea. Having a picture of the most famous guy ordering a tea based assassination show up is as likely as flies showing up at cow dung.

Not shoehorning in the slightest.

Ph_Dank
7
1 week ago

Politics plays a central role in everyone's life, when you have such a divisive figure in the spotlight, it's irresponsible to not talk about politics so much.

mtaw
6
1 week ago

"Why do you have to turn everything into politics?" laments the German Nazi-voter in 1946, upset that people keep bringing up Hitler all the time when his country is mentioned.

Inquisitor1
2
1 week ago

You know what shoehorns remind me of? HOW BAD ORANG MAN IS! HIYOOOOOO!

elitec0re
0
1 week ago

That’s fair, but I feel like he replied to the wrong comment if so.

Theycallmelizardboy
-2
1 week ago

post about cute puppies

"FACISM IS ALIVE AND WELL IN AMERICA!"

KeefAmsterdam
1
1 week ago

Three political leaders, none of them being trump.

amateurstatsgeek
2
1 week ago

He's a Trump supporting snowflake. He's not upset that politics was brought up. He's upset it's shitting on the dumbass he loves. He's just framing it the other way because like the fucksticks "president" he loves getting cucked by, he's a dishonest little fuck who lies all the time.

Cola_and_Cigarettes
-1
1 week ago

Absolute hatred in your heart. 😘

amateurstatsgeek
3
1 week ago

I'm not wrong though. 😘

RemoveTheTop
48
1 week ago

Zip zop zoop
Your president is poop

Pip pop puntree
The Trumps are traitors to our country.

itsmiir
1
1 week ago

I chuckled

Ydjfjdjdhkfs
-36
1 week ago

End yourself cucklord

RemoveTheTop
48
1 week ago

Zippity zork
Lick a fork

Zip Zippity Zocket
Stick it in an electric socket!

👉😎👉
Zoop

King_of_AssGuardians
14
1 week ago

Fukin edgelord9000 over here, look at this guy, he used cuck as an insult, how does he come up with these burns?

Levomethius
2
1 week ago

Fetlife.

Taelon
5
1 week ago

You incels are wild.

Ih8Hondas
2
1 week ago

Nah. They're actually pretty domesticated. They can often be found in their parents' basements.

terminalzero
4
1 week ago

surely the other middle schoolers will think you're cool NOW

RamenJunkie
2
1 week ago

Gottem

DABS

Bombingofdresden
21
1 week ago

Because if we just don’t talk about it...it goes away...

o_k_computer
8
1 week ago

Literally 95% of your post history is right wing punditry pussyfooting around like devil's advocate contrariness. Fuck you.

blancs50
6
1 week ago

Well see, punching down & making fun of oppressed minorities is funny & saying otherwise makes you a snowflake campus nazi, but punching up & going after the oppressors who actually have power is just in bad taste /s.

Diorama42
5
1 week ago

Call of the trumpet

tpolaris
2
1 week ago

Why? Politics exist, you can't hide from them forever. Either join in the conversation or go in your corner and cry like a baby.

itsmiir
1
1 week ago

I just don’t want to talk about Donald Trump right now. I’m not trying to hide from politics forever.

StoplightLoosejaw
13
1 week ago

Downing a gallon of McDonald's Sweet Tea

NullSignificance
2
1 week ago

Putin grounded him, so he couldn't make it.

Fu1krum
1
1 week ago

Tea is too healthy for Donald. He wouldn't drink that stuff.

LaCroixPassionfruit
1
1 week ago

*h a*

mrfolider
0
1 week ago

Stop shoehorning trump in to everything its really boring and unfunny

DefinitelyAsian69
-1
1 week ago

Orange man.... bad?

tinyjb
-2
1 week ago

Bad man orange!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 🍊

whitestrice1995
-2
1 week ago

HAHAHAHAHA TRUMP JOKE HAHAHAHA

Schwaggaccino
0
1 week ago

Still upset about the loss? Gotta get over it you have 6 more years of Trump.

l1l5l
-14
1 week ago

go back to /r/politics

SomeKindaGiantBird
28
1 week ago

I don't like r/politics, too much of an echo chamber. But if you can't stand one single Trump joke go back to crying in a little corner.

Zack_Fair_
-1
1 week ago

you don't like /r/politics yet you'd fit right in

BrassBoots
22
1 week ago

Crazy how these topics can’t be easily confined, eh? It’s almost like everyone is affected by them.

Ih8Hondas
13
1 week ago

Get off the internet.

UltravioletClearance
6
1 week ago

TRIGGERED SNOWFLAKE.

OhhHahahaaYikes
1
1 week ago

REEEEEEEEEEE

-Captain-
10
1 week ago

That's amazing.

Theycallmelizardboy
10
1 week ago

Holy shit is that real?

KHRoN
12
1 week ago

yes, they had tea party at kremlin in 2017 (see last photo in this article)

http://english.alarabiya.net/en/News/gulf/2017/10/06/PHOTOS-Putin-and-King-Salman-have-tea-at-the-Kremlin.html

Theycallmelizardboy
7
1 week ago

But are they actually denying it or just more?

Either way, you couldn't pay me enough money in the world to take tea served from Putin.

Xxx420PussySlayer365
13
1 week ago

Putin isn't going to poison anyone. Too much publicity. I would be hesitant to have tea with one of his anonymous lackeys if I were someone important.

TheMayoNight
7
1 week ago

Yeah but it might have cum in it or something.

mk2vr6t
1
1 week ago

PROBABLY HOOKER PISS

Theycallmelizardboy
1
1 week ago

Not that he'd do it ro a world leader in front of cameras, but you can be damn sure murders people all the time and gets away with it.

Xxx420PussySlayer365
1
1 week ago

I don't believe Putin personally murders anyone these days. There's just very little reason for him to risk himself like that. I have no doubt that he's occasionally responsible for murders though.

Theycallmelizardboy
2
1 week ago

Of course he doesn't personally do it, he has people do it for him. It's literally been proven he's a murderer.

Xxx420PussySlayer365
1
1 week ago

That was my point. The original comment was about declining tea with Putin out of fear of being poisoned. I stated that I doubted there was any danger of being personally murdered by Putin, so the tea was probably safe. I've no doubt that he, along with many other world leaders have ordered their lackeys to murder.

TetraDax
3
1 week ago

My guess would be that he's offering milk and they're declining because they're not savages.

Theycallmelizardboy
2
1 week ago

One of them ordered the murder and dismembering of a journalist. Savage would be putting it lightly. But I think you're being facetious.

TetraDax
2
1 week ago

..I was just making a joke by shitting on the English, lighten up for gods sake

Drezer
1
1 week ago

I'd pay him $3.50 for a cuppa

PUTINS_PORN_ACCOUNT
3
1 week ago

So rude

SinaSyndrome
1
1 week ago

Tarof

LuisSATX
1
1 week ago

Hahaha I love it

rivalarrival
52
1 week ago
Cautionzombie
18
1 week ago

Love me some old Eddie Izard his earth Vader bits are hilarious

rfkz
3
1 week ago

Cake or death part is at 4 minutes 45 seconds, in case anyone's wondering.

muncie
2
1 week ago

I guess they never death, huh 🤔

Batchet
35
1 week ago

you thought you could outwit me?!

Inconceivable!

DreadPiratesRobert
19
1 week ago

Never go against a Sicilian when DEATH is on the line! Ahahaha!

themeatbridge
11
1 week ago

dies in Sicilian

whomikehidden
29
1 week ago

Oh, right, the poison. The poison for Kuzco. The poison designed specifically to kill Kuzco. Kuzco's poison.

Coyspur
9
1 week ago

.......That poison?

Arumin
8
1 week ago

YES THAT POISON!

innerfreq
2
1 week ago

Heading to Cusco, Peru tomorrow and this has been going through my head for the past two weeks! Thanks for the unknown solidarity.

lyrelyrebird
20
1 week ago

Delectable tea or deadly poison?

mangamaster03
3
1 week ago

White dragon bush, or white jade bush...

MakeEveryBonerCount
15
1 week ago
ErEboi
13
1 week ago

Yes

THeerze
-3
1 week ago
SiIva_Grander
16
1 week ago

Both of you fuck off

MakeEveryBonerCount
3
1 week ago
polarbear128
12
1 week ago

Cake, or death??

Ih8Hondas
7
1 week ago

We're all out of cake.

IsMyAccount
4
1 week ago

So my choice is “Or Death”?

president_of_burundi
4
1 week ago

I’ll have the chicken then, please.

IsomDart
4
1 week ago

For some reason it took this comment for me to realize why it's called that. I need coffee.

might_be_a_troll
5
1 week ago

I'll have poison with cream and two sugars, please

I_HAVE_THAT_FETISH
1
1 week ago
Aeden21
2
1 week ago

Give me both.

avaqueue
2
1 week ago

Ive been poisoned by reading this comment

Badgertank99
2
1 week ago

Cake or death

Jimisdegimis89
2
1 week ago

Hmm rare white dragon bush, that, or it’s the white jade plant which is poisonous...delectable tea or deadly poison...

Sardonnicus
2
1 week ago

You better be carfeful in france. Poison and Poisson are too similar.

EatTheChicken
1
1 week ago

And in German. Gift is poison.

AMG_Crow
1
1 week ago

Poison please

Clearlydarkly
1
1 week ago

Yes

yummybear
1
1 week ago

"Why is my cup all white?"

houseofamon
1
1 week ago

It’s milk of the puppy

death_to_cereal
1
1 week ago

Knowing your skills with tea...I'd choose the poison

DayGloMagic
1
1 week ago

¿Por que no los dos?

I_HAVE_THAT_FETISH
1
1 week ago

"Uh, death, please. No, cake tea! Tea! Tea, sorry. Sorry..."

jitsumorolls
1
1 week ago

Cake or death?

Baji25
1
1 week ago

poison please

AYNAGEDDON
1
1 week ago

Why so many upvotes the emojis kill it for me

Fishydeals
1
1 week ago

Are you this facebook guy everybody's upset about?

jagmania85
1
1 week ago

Delectable tea...or deadly poison?

justthat1268
1
1 week ago

Taizen

Thompsonman12
1
1 week ago

Poison.

WetSpongeOnFire
1
1 week ago
jej1
0
1 week ago

Fucking simpleton scum we shouldve genocided you while we could.

SafeSir
-1
1 week ago

More like do you want piss or cum

socksnsandlesfortheW
1558
1 week ago

birds poop/pee the same way

lunatichakuzu
982
1 week ago

and chickens lay eggs through the same hole for a three in one shit piss egg salmonella fest.

GiacomoTheLiar
219
1 week ago

...Aww, I liked eggs :(

AhCrapItsYou
366
1 week ago

We knew that some users may take issue, so we wrapped the Egg™ in a protective shell like we did the popular Banana™.

aifhouse01
124
1 week ago

What you did with the Banana™ was great.

Could you put a little knob on the Egg™ so it's easier to peel the shell off, like you have on the Banana™? I don't want tiny bits of shell in my Egg™ recipes.

BananaFactBot
135
1 week ago

If you put a banana in the refrigerator, the peel will turn dark brown or black, but it won't affect the fruit inside.


I'm a Bot bleep bloop | Unsubscribe | 🍌

TheHollowJester
29
1 week ago

Good bot!

Stoveyy
15
1 week ago

Who has so much time they made a banana bot...good bot though. (Does everyone else sing B A N A N A spelling it?)

BananaFactBot
24
1 week ago

Research shows that eating bananas may lower the risk of heart attacks and strokes, as well as decrease the risk of getting some cancers.


I'm a Bot bleep bloop | Unsubscribe | 🍌

SpadesAnon
3
1 week ago

Banana

Weishaupt666
2
1 week ago

Oh shit I forgot I had a banana, gonna eat that goodness so hard now

Penqwin
1
1 week ago

That's bananas! B A N A N AS

ahkiikwe
1
1 week ago
Ryan-the-lion
1
1 week ago

Every single time hahaha

Kirikomori
7
1 week ago

incorrect

YourElderlyNeighbor
4
1 week ago

As someone who can only eat slightly unripe bananas, this is an absolutely true trick I’ve used for years.

levian_durai
2
1 week ago

Definitely. Even after it cools down the texture feels like an unripe banana

JamesRealHardy
1
1 week ago

You forgot to mention it will stay edible longer.

Jehovah___
1
1 week ago

Isn’t that implied?

Mr_Smooooth
1
1 week ago

good bot

GiacomoTheLiar
24
1 week ago

Gee, thanks multi-billion dollar corporation! I can always count on you to have my best interests in mind! Now, thanks to you, I can love eggs again!

Disclaimer: We are legally obligated to disclose this was a fully paid product sponsorship and user experience may vary.

  • Eggo, more than just a waffle company ™
PUTINS_PORN_ACCOUNT
15
1 week ago

Fucking devs

Nerf cancer that shit is OP as fuck

I_Automate
2
1 week ago

Naw. They're leaving that in as a challenge to modders

catmandx
1
1 week ago
Robot_Basilisk
9
1 week ago

American eggs have to be refrigerated because they pasteurize them. They're somewhat clean by the time they get on the shelf.

WiscDC
12
1 week ago

Washed, not pasteurized. There are pasteurized in-shell eggs out there, but it's a relatively recent development, and most eggs you see in the store are not pasteurized.

The split in refrigerating or not refrigerating eggs is all about washing them.

adamdrewmerry
6
1 week ago

In the UK as long as the eggs you buy have a little red lion symbol on them, it means the chickens were inoculated and you can eat them raw with no worries

Sangxero
1
1 week ago

The eggs I have at work are pasteurized, but not my home eggs, both say keep refrigerated.

I've never actually seen pasteurized eggs in the store where I'm at.

Chesty83
3
1 week ago

There’s a reason to like them even more now.

knitted_beanie
13
1 week ago

Working title for Fyre Fest?

wearsjockeyshorts
7
1 week ago

Cloaca fest!

Chewie444
5
1 week ago
theboxislost
7
1 week ago

I doubt that

fitch2711
8
1 week ago

It’s called a cloaca and the platypus shares one as well

turnipheadstalk
3
1 week ago

Platypus has to be one of the weirdest animal to exist. Everything about them is confusing.

I_Automate
2
1 week ago

An animal made entirely of spare parts

vale_fallacia
2
1 week ago

Multitasking Mingebutt.

Gongaloon
2
1 week ago
igordogsockpuppet
1
1 week ago

So does the platypus

pamtar
1
1 week ago

I’d like to thank the black lady (Sipsy?) from Fried Green Tomatoes for informing me of this as a child. I thought the “shoot right out a chickens ass” line was hilarious until I realized it was true.

scuzzmonkey69
1
1 week ago

a three in one shit piss egg salmonella fest

Only if they aren't vaxxed.

First World Farming for life!

ToomanyDoor
1
1 week ago

Yeah, first world meat industry is not what id call ideal under any circumstances.

DeadPuppyClowns
1
1 week ago

It is called a cloaca, thank you very much!

iluvstephenhawking
1
1 week ago

Ahh yes. The ever useful cloaca. Us mammals (except platypus) do not get to enjoy the wonders of our butt/pee and birth hole not being the same thing.

IamOzimandias
1
1 week ago

Is something wrong with you?

shurdi3
1
1 week ago

It's called a cloaca

stellarbeing
46
1 week ago

They use a teapot?

socksnsandlesfortheW
6
1 week ago

duh

CervezaPorFavor
12
1 week ago

humans cum/pee the same way

yepyepyepyeppp
13
1 week ago

Male* humans

mastersoup
8
1 week ago

Women poop and give birth from the same hole, so NBD.

levian_durai
5
1 week ago

Babies come from the butt right?

Un0Du0
1
1 week ago

So THAT'S why my GF never allows me to do anal!

mastersoup
5
1 week ago

Yeah, she might be pregnant. If you fuck a pregnant woman in her butt, you could make the baby pregnant too. That's how you get twins.

shitworms
1
1 week ago

When I was really young my friend told me he came from his mom's butt, and that's why he was black but his mom and brother were white. I thought that was fucking weird but went with it I guess. I brought it up later on and my dad was struggling to breathe from laughing so hard while my mom was like "WHAT?! HE'S ADOPTED! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!"

levian_durai
1
1 week ago

Oh my god I hope that's what his parents told him, that's amazing

twokidsandnomore
3
1 week ago

Uhhh what?

Bull3t_Th3ory
2
1 week ago
scuzzle-butt
1
1 week ago
jhughes1986
8
1 week ago

From a teapot??

mpolska
5
1 week ago

Don't girls do it like this too?

ReadinStuff2
2
1 week ago

Totally. Baby comes out of their belly through there.

King_Dragmire
1
1 week ago

Ah yes the cloaka

aired19
1
1 week ago

Birds don’t pee

johnny_riko
1
1 week ago

It's more that the two happen together. Birds don't have watery piss, they make uric acid instead. This is what makes the white acidic paste in "bird shit". This is mixed with their actual faeces prior to being expelled.

Barbarichealer
1
1 week ago

I'm pretty sure girls do too.........pretty sure

socksnsandlesfortheW
1
1 week ago

Scientist - can confirm

therapistofpenisland
1020
1 week ago

More /r/mildlyinteresting, unless you can't figure out how this thing works by the obvious movements in the video?

sculltt
657
1 week ago

I don't think I've ever seen someone handle a teapot so awkwardly.

UnnecessaryAppeal
239
1 week ago

I'm fairly certain I could lift my thumb off the hole without having to move every other finger on both hands

bloodring87
128
1 week ago

If you watch the original there’s actually two holes, one of which is on the bottom of the handle. So in actual fact he had to move his other fingers as well as moving his thumb. (I.E simultaneously uncovering the top hole and covering the bottom one.)

UnnecessaryAppeal
59
1 week ago

Ah, okay. Fair enough. There still must be a way to do that without looking so awkward.

jerry_fuentes
74
1 week ago

some assassins are awkward.

yes we exist

get over it!

i_am_icarus_falling
11
1 week ago

and the person who witnessed your awkwardness is about to be fucking dead.

Itsbilloreilly
2
1 week ago

NEXT

Boukish
33
1 week ago

Yes, it's called a lot of bowing and gracious distraction after you pour your guest's drink and before you pour the next, giving you time to shuffle your hands.

Penn and Teller can do cups and balls with clear cups for crying out loud, it's always in the sleights and distractions.

Prompus
14
1 week ago

If you cover either hole the coresponding liquid comes out, if you cover neither hole they both come out.

So if you were to poison somone you would pour yours first with a hole covered then lift your thumb and pour the other so both tea and poison come out.

guts1998
7
1 week ago

Yeah but to clearly show the mechanism, he has to cover one at a time so that ir's obvious

guts1998
3
1 week ago

Maybe he did it purposefully so it's clear to see

UnnecessaryAppeal
0
1 week ago

If that was his aim, he should have put the teapot down and taken his hands off it between pours. Then he could clearly point to the hole.

f7sharp11
1
1 week ago

This teapot has been posted many times and I've never seen it demonstrated so awkwardly. It's like watching a 5 year old do a card trick.

hemareddit
2
1 week ago

Of course the design can be a lot more discreet: you can have both holes on the handle next to each other, so you just have to move the thumb.

A_FluteBoy
1
1 week ago

That's pretty cool.

[deleted]
0
1 week ago

[deleted]

bloodring87
1
1 week ago

Good one, Capt’n.

PostSexCigarettes
8
1 week ago

There's a second hole by the handle. He's got to cover that one while uncovering the top one. That's why it looks weird.

Alromaithi
8
1 week ago

If I remeber, he was holding it that way because he was showing how he uses his fingers to switch between liquids.

sweetaileen
1
1 week ago

I’d like to see the hands of a Geisha do this demonstration

therapistofpenisland
1
1 week ago

Yeah that was more /r/mildlyinfuriating

NitroGlc
40
1 week ago

It's more r/intrestingasfuck if I'm being honest, but maybe I'm just easily amazed

Thor1noak
7
1 week ago

Are you saying this belongs in r/BeAmazed now? Which is it chico?

NitroGlc
1
1 week ago

Hmm...I do not know if I'm being honest.. try posting it there and if you get upvoted, it belongs

Milkslinger
26
1 week ago

It looks to me like they're using an air seal to choose which thing to pour and if that's true it seems that it would be easy to accidentally mix the two

ThatWannabeCatgirl
29
1 week ago

Which is why you only use it on special occasions, like when Karen comes over

dameanmugs
14
1 week ago

I realize you may be constrained by doctor-patient confidentiality, but how is therapy going in Penisland?

Pikalika
10
1 week ago

/r/blackmagicfuckery /r/Damnthatsinteresting and /r/interestingasfuck are all the same sub, and all should collapse back into /r/mildlyinteresting where they belong

wulteer
0
1 week ago

Reason they grew away from mildlyinteresting was because of the OC rule.

Pikalika
1
1 week ago

I wish all subreddits had a "no repost" rule. I also wish mods actually did something about it in subs that actually have the rule

fammari
8
1 week ago

My intellect forbids me from comprehending the workings of this teapot

woodsoffeels
3
1 week ago

I can’t figure it out :/

bcegkm
1
1 week ago

Me neither, I tried googling it and best I could find was this explanation from when it was posted two years ago:

https://old.reddit.com/r/videos/comments/45rkug/the_assassins_teapot_grand_illusions/d00c18e/

woodsoffeels
1
1 week ago

Thanks man, appreciate it!

Confish04
400
1 week ago

I know those hands

THATS TIM!!!!

kokoren
78
1 week ago

WATER FROM THE NILE

andurilsoulreap
26
1 week ago

Nile Water

AndThereWasNothing
11
1 week ago

W A T E R F R O M T H E N I L E

Norington
7
1 week ago

T E A F R O M T H E N I L E

tehtrintran
5
1 week ago

POISON FROM THE NILE

Anelikital
29
1 week ago

Heh!

Aerostitus
12
1 week ago

Balloons! I love them.

Crimsai
17
1 week ago

Grand illusions is the chillest thing, I love it.

Dushiido
6
1 week ago

the Bob Ross of the toy industry, Tim is a national treasure

Not_fbi_i_swear
9
1 week ago
ThePersonWhoReplies
1
1 week ago
Pedantichrist
246
1 week ago

I would like to know where I can acquire such a thing.

CouldHaveBeenAPun
97
1 week ago

For... A friend?

Pedantichrist
165
1 week ago

I do not have any friends.

CouldHaveBeenAPun
102
1 week ago

There you go. I found the assassin guys!

KinkySalam
47
1 week ago

Not after having this teapot you won't

JangoDarkSaber
6
1 week ago

Anymore...

opesorry9999
2
1 week ago

Since... the accident

gdumthang
2
1 week ago

Why do people say ope sorry or oap or stuff like that

opesorry9999
1
1 week ago

Cause here in the midwest we're nice

kevicus123
3
1 week ago

Just enemies.

JimmieRusslah
1
1 week ago

.....anymore

norm139
2
1 week ago

Bye!

53bvo
2
1 week ago

More like for an enemy

LetsDoThatShit
18
1 week ago

The CIA wants to know your location

Pedantichrist
16
1 week ago

Yes, they do.

That is all they exist for.

CaptainHoyt
10
1 week ago

it would be more accurate if they said "The CIA already knows your locations...and your Dinner plans"

Pedantichrist
5
1 week ago

That is easy.

I am dining with folk who believe that they are my friends.

Ih8Hondas
1
1 week ago

Damn. They know me better than me. I don't even know my dinner plans.

FD435
4
1 week ago

FBI would make more sense

JusticeTheTip
7
1 week ago

Only if he's assassinating people domestically. Could be a globe-trotting assassin.

LetsDoThatShit
1
1 week ago

I'd assume that most potential assassinations would happen on foreign land

UbermorphPoint45
1
1 week ago

Y’know

The Nile

Pedantichrist
2
1 week ago

The Nile in China, you say?

Hmm.

CaptainKeir
1
1 week ago

The grand illusions website

Pedantichrist
1
1 week ago

Yeah, I saw it - it is a lot of money for an ugly version.

I have been looking elsewhere to no avail, so far.

Thank you, however.

Jhoney003
123
1 week ago

Better make sure to pour yours first or it will cross contaminate at the spout.

I2ed3ye
87
1 week ago

I've spent the past two years building up immunity to iocane powder.

d_r0ck
32
1 week ago

Inconceivable!

CompSciBJJ
18
1 week ago

Inconceivable!

Incontheivable!

FTFY

moose1207
10
1 week ago

You keep using that word, I do not think it means what you think it means.

jimothy94
8
1 week ago

Does anybody want a peanut

Khada_Djinn
3
1 week ago

inconceivable!

thotpatrolv1
7
1 week ago

That would not be fun

COCAINE_IN_MY_DICK
6
1 week ago

Yeah it stings

horseklock
3
1 week ago

Name checks out

SinaSyndrome
3
1 week ago

Yea i was wondering how you could do that and not kill yourself by doing it. You would think it would be most polite to pour the guest/victim tea first.

EatTheChicken
5
1 week ago

Just have a poison which won't kill you in trace amounts.

RamenJunkie
1
1 week ago

Put antidote in your half, so it cured the poison when mixed.

Not-Not-Cal
79
1 week ago

I read the title as "Asshole teapot"

CouldHaveBeenAPun
58
1 week ago

Still a good title if you're the one being assassinated.

Eoine
21
1 week ago

"Killed by an Asshole pot of tea - RIP" that'd be a fun epitaph

domtropen
5
1 week ago

If it was shaped as a bird, you'd be technically correct

AntonsMc
4
1 week ago

Press x to doubt

Mass1m01973
70
1 week ago
SoloMan98
67
1 week ago

Delectable tea? Or deadly poison?

murderbybox
7
1 week ago

Found the brit.

NIQQAZILLA
5
1 week ago

Found 21 Savage

murderbybox
1
1 week ago

Not even slightly.

thewhitelie
3
1 week ago

Found Uncle Iroh

johntron3000
2
1 week ago

General Iroh was definitely not British.

murderbybox
1
1 week ago

Sorry, did not get the reference.

Iforgotmypasscodes
1
1 week ago

Its to die for!

510Threaded
1
1 week ago

You didn't

4ndy45
62
1 week ago

TIL my dick is an assassins teapot.

TheVeteran121
10
1 week ago
adudeguyman
6
1 week ago

Peepot

246TNP
0
1 week ago

So your pee is dark brown?

jej1
1
1 week ago

Do you not poo from ur dick????

anti-gif-bot
34
1 week ago

mp4 link


This mp4 version is 69.46% smaller than the gif (915.57 KB vs 2.93 MB).


Beep, I'm a bot. FAQ | author | source | v1.1.2

CrimsonFlash
24
1 week ago

Water from the Nile.

kokoren
8
1 week ago

Nile water.

AlfaBundy
3
1 week ago

Nilian Water

heofmanytree
25
1 week ago

Shout out to Tim from Grand Illusion! He's super chill and quirky gramp with passion for toys and trickets. Please support him by checking his YouTube channel!

Musicatronic
24
1 week ago

A similar design was used in Formula 1 race cars until it was banned

There was a small port in the driver’s cockpit, on the fast sections of the circuit the driver would cover the port with the back of their hand or elbow.

Fast flowing air would redirect through a duct and stall the rear wing thereby decreasing downforce and the car would go faster until the driver uncovered the port again ready for the corner sections where downforce is required

TheGravyGuy
11
1 week ago

Is there a reason it was banned? Did that count as cheating or something? I know nothing about F1 except car go fast.

XXXTENTACHION
8
1 week ago

Probably dangerous as hell lol . Flippin cars n shit.

Blue2501
7
1 week ago

The governing body wants to keep a level playing field with as few shenanigans as possible. For the teams it becomes a game of circumventing the rules in ways that aren't explicitly disallowed.

I think in this particular case, variable-downforce wings were already prohibited and that made it actually cheating.

CompSciBJJ
2
1 week ago

It likely went against the "moveable aerodynamic device" rule (something along those lines) that was put in place to prevent cars that had wings that moved, fans sucking air from under the car, etc. It's similar to how one year they had wings made of flexible carbon fiber that would flex at high speed and stall, until that got banned too. Formula 1 is basically an arms race of people trying to skirt the rules legally and the rulemakers making more restrictive rules while also trying to allow innovation. I believe moving wings are currently legal (or at least they were recently, unless that's changed), so the hole workaround is basically useless within the current ruleset.

johnny_riko
1
1 week ago

It wasn't cheating, just a clever way to get around some of the rules and regulations. The FIA changed the regulations to ban the use of mechanics like the aforementioned F-duct because they wanted to have more regulated control over how teams are able to manipulate the aerodynamics of the cars.

The thing you have to realise with F1 is that it is essentially a perpetual battle between the teams and the regulatory body, where the teams are trying to use loopholes and technicalities to give themselves an advantage. Ironically the FIA have clamped down on innovation so much that the only thing which determines the constructors championship is who has the best engine, so they've effectively made the sport more boring than it ever has been.

Musicatronic
1
1 week ago

It was so clever even the authorities admired it. But there was general consensus amongst most teams that it should be banned in the interest of safety (so drivers could keep their hands focused on the wheel as much as possible).

The team that invented it designed their car around it and wanted it to staybthe following year but eventually agreed

It was called the F-duct because the inlet duct was exactly where the ‘f’ of their Vodafone sponsor decal was on their car

johnny_riko
1
1 week ago

Called the F-duct. Iirc mcclaren made it first, and theirs was operated by blocking the flow of air with the drivers left knee.

The reason it worked was because air was directed past the drivers knee, and then into a duct which carried air to a part of the rear wing. In normal operation this flow of air is undisturbed and produces downforce (good, allows quicker cornering speeds) and drag (bad, reduces acceleration and top speed). When the driver moved their left knee to block this flow of air, the aerodynamics of the rear wing are completely different and stall. The result is a large drop in downforce and drag. This is ideal on straights where cornering grip isn't needed but the decreased drag gives extra acceleration and top speed.

Musicatronic
1
1 week ago

It was called the F-duct because the inlet duct was exactly where the ‘f’ of their Vodafone sponsor decal was on their car

notalowishus
13
1 week ago

There has to be a less awkward and obvious way to hold that teapot to pour multiple cups.

PostSexCigarettes
4
1 week ago

Not really, there a second hole by the handle he's having to cover up. This gif doesn't show the full extent of its design.

notalowishus
2
1 week ago

World's least sneaky assassin's teapot then?

BardielAngel
10
1 week ago

Heh!

makencarts
5
1 week ago

Why would cream be an assassin..... Oh.... Took me a second.

Anelikital
4
1 week ago

Water from the Nile!

CAP_IHaveNoLife9
1
1 week ago

Lmao

1of3s
4
1 week ago

Seems like that is going to be hard to clean.

_Iamthe_senate
4
1 week ago

Water from the nile

_mildlyinfuriating
4
1 week ago

Is a teapot that can switch between two chambers of liquid really "black magic fuckery"?

lustrouspenguin
1
1 week ago

Black logic fuckery

BizarreBreak89
3
1 week ago

I bought this teapot a few years ago. Bit pricey, but it makes a great party trick! The reactions I got over the last two years made up for the price.

maxstolfe
3
1 week ago

How is this black magic?

Angellotta
2
1 week ago

But then the milk will be warm when it goes in...

DisruptionTrend
17
1 week ago

... so you want lukewarm tea?

Angellotta
12
1 week ago

I want boiling hot tea (if that’s what is specified for that blend) and then ice cold milk (or a dairy free alternative for me) so that it is the perfect temperature to drink immediately!

(In truth I don’t add milk to tea, and barely add any sweetener either.)

sheffy55
2
1 week ago

I've never heard of adding milk to tea before, I'm slightly disgusted, but also intrigued

DudeCorea
8
1 week ago

Really? Milk in black tea is extremely common, it's the standard way to drink it even.

benryves
3
1 week ago

it's the standard way to drink Earl Grey for example.

I know a few people who object to milk in Earl Grey (I don't mind either way, but I would definitely not say it's standard). I've found it's much more common with English breakfast.

bobsp
2
1 week ago

The British do it. They're weird like that.

WtfMayt
1
1 week ago

No we absolutely do not.

Only the degenerates who are quickly sent away.

horseklock
2
1 week ago

You know you put milk in your tea captain slow

WtfMayt
1
1 week ago

misread as adding milk before tea, yeah of course we put it in.

murderbybox
1
1 week ago

I've only done that when I have limited time and have to drink fast.

Auctoritate
1
1 week ago

Unless the tea is cold.

CAP_IHaveNoLife9
2
1 week ago

Tim is honestly the best

BadEgg1951
2
1 week ago

Anyone seeking more info might also check here:

title points age /r/ comnts
The Assassins Teapot (X-Post from /r/interestingasfuck) 423 1yr tea 39
The Assassin's Teapot 21660 1yr interestingasfuck 462
The so called "Assassin's Teapot" 4 53mins funny 0
Assassin's teapot B 564 2yrs awesome 24
Assassin's teapot B 2117 2yrs Damnthatsinteresting 71
Assasin's Teapot B 648 2yrs interestingasfuck 41
Assassin's Teapot B 185 2yrs mildlyinteresting 2

Source: karmadecay (B = bigger)

QwertySmash
2
1 week ago

Really looking for r/thingscutnhalf

therealsix
2
1 week ago

Why is it "so called"? Isn't it actually called the Assassin's Teapot?

hardt0f0rget
2
1 week ago

Tea or...DEATH?

-Roast-Toast-
2
1 week ago

smiles in british

esotericnumeric
2
1 week ago

The so called "assassin's Teapot" for the lactose intolerant.

BWAAAHAAAHAAA!

thegovernment0usa
2
1 week ago

My girlfriend has a little novelty she calls a "poisoner's ring." Looks like a normal ring, with a tiny compartment inside of it.

woohoo
1
1 week ago

Inconceivable!

Major_Butthurt
1
1 week ago

Only if you plan to assassinate a non-British person with all that milk in his tea.

Tsorovar
1
1 week ago

Only works on people who are allergic to milk

aigsup1234
1
1 week ago

TIM

Tommytriangle
1
1 week ago

Called the "Assassin's teapot", but the only use shown in the video is to separate milk from tea. A little hyperbolic don't you think?

NorthernVashishta
3
1 week ago

... the assassin would have tea in both chambers and one would be poison.

Tommytriangle
0
1 week ago

I'm saying you COULD use it for assassination, but the most practical use would be to separate milk. It's sort of like looking at a tool and calling it "the assassin's blade", when it's just an axe or something.

alegxab
1
1 week ago

The video looks like it came from a 90s FMV computer game

bovinespecies
1
1 week ago

I think these things are so neat, I have seen similar ones on here before does anybody have gifs?

djrobbo83
1
1 week ago

Wiping out the lactose intolerant one milky tea at a time...

T0pTiggrr
1
1 week ago

Ah one is supposed to be lethal. Cool!

Grandpa_yeet
1
1 week ago

Delectable tea? Or deadly poison?

huliehooper
1
1 week ago

God damn how much milk? That is not tea Sir...

CptSgtLtSir
1
1 week ago

Not so much black magic more fluid dynamics, the chambers are poured from when there is a complete "circuit" for air to flow in. Removing the thumb from the hole allows the chamber with milk in it to flow

Ressurekt27
1
1 week ago

Is there a switch?

nelska
1
1 week ago

it peed and then jizzed. like a dick.

theycallmetheplug
1
1 week ago

Feel the magic haha

Vilens40
1
1 week ago

A latch is now “black magic rickety”?

Cmon

Thanoshock
1
1 week ago

Oh boy do I love that channel. It’s one of the best even created

YoungestOldGuy
1
1 week ago

Why are the holes so big?

arambasek10
1
1 week ago

Never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line!

NurefsanByrk
1
1 week ago

Online anketlere katılarak hediyeler kazanabilirsiniz. Sitelere üye ol anketlere katıl hediyeni kap. www.turkiyeninseipaneli.com ve www.giyinkusan.com

ParticularPickle
1
1 week ago

Wut

BaccaManBoss
1
1 week ago

Hey, just would like to know where to acquire such product. Just asking for a friend yes?

Silliestmonkey
1
1 week ago

I just watched the 20/20 on the black widow and this is basically that but more zen

TrippingFish
1
1 week ago

Cumin after you piss

BigWil
1
1 week ago

Assassinating people with semen allergies since 1492.

kokong32
0
1 week ago

idk why i updoot dis evry tym

capt_mistep
0
1 week ago

Whats the modern day version of this hmm..

AmishHoeFights
0
1 week ago

Speaking as a straight, middle-aged man, can we just agree Tim is adorable?

He's the very essence of befuddlement... or something close to that.

His way of talking and accent are somehow the perfect characterization of a reserved, yet somehow excited, Elderly Gentleman.

There was a "Tim" Character in every 50's-80's live Disney film, and probably every single mid-century BBC production ever.

I can't watch more than one vid of his at a time, but once a month or so, I sit in wonder, watching The Master Toy-God.

a-giggly-hecker
0
1 week ago

Shut up and take my money

Ah-SoThatsHowItsDone
0
1 week ago

Ah, so that’s how it’s done.

jkilgo3
0
1 week ago

This has been reposted more times than Betty Whites seen a dick.

o_Oz
0
1 week ago

Why does it look NOT Russian?

Gongaloon
0
1 week ago

Holy crap, it's Tim-senpai!

DeadlyTeapot
0
1 week ago

Damn, I have been exposed

topredditbot
0
1 week ago

Hey /u/Mass1m01973,

This is now the top post on reddit. It will be recorded at /r/topofreddit with all the other top posts.

YNiekAC
0
1 week ago

This makes sense, I think there is a switch on the teapot itself

reliikvia
0
1 week ago

Alchemy 100

Ms_Everything9
0
1 week ago

I finally get to plug this guy. Go subscribe to grand illusions. 10/10 very wholesome.

MrZaptile933
-17
1 week ago

Button on handle

Shibbledibbler
26
1 week ago

Nope. That's a hole, covering the hole stops the poison coming out.