Its like catching it at a wedding, but better.
53427 upvotes
151 comments
hiimcoleman
5 days ago
Its like catching it at a wedding, but better.
pm_me_tits_and_tats
2747
5 days ago

It’s all fun and games until your family fighting over who gets to catch it.

hiimcoleman
1177
5 days ago

Not my problem im already dead

pm_me_tits_and_tats
208
5 days ago

True true true

BuyBitcoinWhileItsLo
50
5 days ago

It do be like that sometimes

PM_ME_YOUR_INNY
26
5 days ago

fo sho fo sho

I’m gettin that fo sho

derka-jr
17
5 days ago

Cool cool cool cool cool cool cool

Nizde
10
5 days ago

Alright alright alright alright

Noice smort toight

Nan0S3c0Nd
4
5 days ago

Cabal on the field.

EnchantingMollusk
8
5 days ago

Until your mom starts bothering you in the afterlife

The_Nightman_Cummeth
3
5 days ago

Throw me in the trash

[deleted]
2
5 days ago

[deleted]

Scanlansam
3
5 days ago

What?

BABarracus
1
5 days ago

If you the one doing the throwing we bout to take an axe to your face

ThaGander
0
5 days ago
Imawildedible
16
5 days ago
ne1seenmykeys
2
5 days ago

I feel like, also, r/suicidebywords

Thoughts?

arekwinter
90
5 days ago

What if grandma dies trying to catch it?

dexter_in_pajamas
140
5 days ago

We go for round 2

iaceyi
40
5 days ago

Everyday we stray further from Gods Light

MultidimensionalMilk
32
5 days ago

While grandma's about to stray further to it

Sir-xer21
10
5 days ago

Thats what you think, she got secrets too.

JustSherlock
3
5 days ago

Ain't no secret. Granny had that drive-in special.

ElementAboveAll
2
5 days ago

But Erebus welcomes you with open hands.

SpiritMountain
6
5 days ago

It also confirms round 3

KingGorilla
2
5 days ago

Just dig the plot a little deeper, bunk buddies!

jmc6000
40
5 days ago

2 funerals for the price of 1, it’s a steal.

tungkidz
14
5 days ago

2 gals 1 casket let's go

Erotic_FriendFiction
3
5 days ago

oWO

BrainFellator
3
5 days ago

BOGO

mishaco
7
5 days ago

that's the lightning round. first one struck by lightning wins the bouquet.

RobbieAnalog
4
5 days ago

It goes to sudden death.

AllElvesAreThots
20
5 days ago

GIVE IT TO ME OR I'LL KILL MYSELF!

SunriseSurprise
18
5 days ago

Grandpa's legs suddenly work again as he performs a perfect tackle.

SofterBones
6
5 days ago

Ill elbow grandma to catch that shit

hzfan
6
5 days ago
godlychill
10
5 days ago

This is one of the best threads I’ve ever read on Reddit, no cap.

TheHapster
3
5 days ago
notbutteryet
2
5 days ago

What’s the ratio of tits to tats you get?

pm_me_tits_and_tats
4
5 days ago

A lot of times it’s both tbh. Pretty even mix when it’s one or the other tho

notbutteryet
1
5 days ago

Pretty interesting. How many total? Always been curious about those “pm-me-x” usernames lol

pm_me_tits_and_tats
2
5 days ago

Oh, I have no idea haha

brokenyeet
655
5 days ago

If niggas don't smoke out my funeral we ain't friends no more and y'all will be living in a haunted house tonight

GunnieGraves
172
5 days ago

This reminds me of the Eddie Murphy bit about how dumb white people are for staying in a haunted house.

Found It

strexpet-b
29
5 days ago

Can confirm. Am white and there is a clearly haunted building in my elevator that I keep getting into

Edit: building inside elevator would be super surreal and haunted but this is actually just an elevator in a building and I'm bad at making words today

TerribleFootball
47
5 days ago

Bro you have a building in your elevator? You really are white huh.

extrabutterycopporn
7
5 days ago

Where are we supposed to put the building? Outside the elevator? That's more fucked up than a football bat.

T0mfo0lery
15
5 days ago

building in my elevator

What is this? A building for ants!?

GunnieGraves
11
5 days ago

Same. I’m white and even though that voice keeps saying “You’ll die here!” this is a damned good neighborhood with good schools and you can’t put a price on that.

strexpet-b
6
5 days ago

Mine's not even that my apt just has a sick view despite the sentient murderous elevator hahahaha cries

Rafaeliki
4
5 days ago

I'm white and as a kid we used to continually break into this extremely creepy abandoned house (and the warehouses nearby but they weren't creepy as they were just graffiti and makeshift skate ramps).

I even slept there one time when we all got drunk. The place was terrifying. Overgrown brush everywhere and zero light in the house as every window and door was boarded up.

They recently bulldozed the whole area and even though the skate park (that they actually named after my friend who passed) and surrounding park is beautiful I miss the abandoned buildings a lot. They were part of my childhood.

signifyingmnky
1
5 days ago

If you come across a Gatekeeper or Keymaster in the elevator or posted up on the building inside of it, you might want find a new building.

DownvoteDaemon
4
5 days ago

All I know is that if people don't come to my funeral I'm dayum sure not coming to theirs. It's rude.

Lonesome_Ninja
11
5 days ago

You gonna spy on your naked friends?

murfflemethis
7
5 days ago

Nah. Probably just waste my death on Reddit just like I did my life.

brokenyeet
3
5 days ago

In not spying, just taking all your right shoes and swapping/mixing your salt and sugar in random intervals

I_be_that_PMF
2
5 days ago

My boys have all been looking good and healthy lately tho 👀

Lonesome_Ninja
2
5 days ago

"I know they work out because they've been feeling more firm lately"

[deleted]
3
5 days ago

[deleted]

brokenyeet
3
5 days ago

I guess, but I'm a petty ass ghost that sets your clocks back 20 mins everyday, and whatever Lil B tweeted that day will be on your walls in blood. "I love you" - Lil B

pit_of_despair
160
5 days ago

This would remind me of when I would go to family weddings and all of my aunts and uncles would look at me and go, 'You next, you next!'.

I always get my revenge during funerals when I would up to my aunts and uncles and the rest of the old people and go, 'You next, you next!'.

hiimcoleman
260
5 days ago

I havent heard that joke since ifunny was a thing

pit_of_despair
33
5 days ago

Now you have :)

dannydirtbag
11
5 days ago

Outside of the funeral homes they always have “Now showing” on the marquee - I’m just waiting to see my name as “coming soon.”

CevoJe
77
5 days ago

A bouquet i actually want to catch

luminick
66
5 days ago
I_am_the_one123
43
5 days ago

Futurama is the best animated adult show don’t @ me

selloboy
40
5 days ago

It's because it ended while it was still good. Family Guy and the Simpsons were good for a while but they just kept going and ran out of fun and clever ideas. Futurama went on for the right amount of time.

I_am_the_one123
23
5 days ago

The ending was perfect too.

nukethem
20
5 days ago

The Comedy Central seasons were pretty weak. There are a lot of good episodes still but a lot of bad ones. The finale is one of the greats.

Edit: In case you're put off by it, please don't skip over seasons 1-5 because of the non-HD format. The production value is kinda low in season 1-2, then it picks up.

MeteWorldPeace
11
5 days ago

Simpsons was good but Family Guy was decent at best. The jokes were funny at times but it never had any interesting over arching themes or plots throughout the show which really just make it an animated stand up comedy show with more surreal elements.

extrabutterycopporn
3
5 days ago

And to end it with an episode where Fry finally got to spend his life with Leela? That was gonna be a great ending but the prof coming back and giving them a whole 'nother chance to do it again? A beautiful twist ending to a wonderful show

AquaticMule
5
5 days ago

Simpsons>KOTH>Boondocks>Futurama>Bojack>Rick & Morty>South Park>>>>Others

And to clarify, I'm talking Simpsons season 3-12ish, Boondocks seasons 1-3, and South Park seasons 2-10ish

luminick
9
5 days ago

Thems fighting words.

AquaticMule
3
5 days ago

If it makes you feel any better, I like South Park

luminick
3
5 days ago

It does, so I guess we can be cool.

For now....

HouAngelesDodgeStros
3
5 days ago

No Archer or DBZA?

AquaticMule
3
5 days ago

Archer

Eh, I like it but I wouldn't go out of my way to watch it.

DBZA

Dragonball Z (A?) - I wouldn't really consider that to be an adult cartoon. But with that being said I'm a big fan of the Freeza and Cell Sagas

dasimers
6
5 days ago

The A stands for Abridged

EcNeMaLaSX
3
5 days ago

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2nYozPLpJRE

^Abridged, not the original cartoon

HouAngelesDodgeStros
1
5 days ago

The 'A' is for "abridged". It's a parody dub by Team Four Star. Started in 2008 or so. Tbh, if you're not a huge Archer fan, you may not like DBZA, since it does take a good bit of inspiration from that type of humor.

Dat2ndGuy
7
5 days ago

Ahha man of culture i see

DepressiveUtopia
21
5 days ago

Wasn't this a Cyanide and Happiness episode?

Mercpool87
28
5 days ago

I know Futurama did it

Talbotus
19
5 days ago

Amy "I know who's funeral we'll be attending next" Proffesor with flowers "oh pishaw" *blushes

Yep, remember it vividly. Tho I'm sure op didn't steal it. People make similar jokes.

IsacClarkRidingaWolf
5
5 days ago
censor-design
18
5 days ago

They gonna use a cardboard box and not worry about the flowers. Beautiful thing is that you’ll never know...

TenshiKuro
12
5 days ago

Jigsaw doll should pop out like "Wanna play a game?" If no one catches the bouquet everyone dies.

CannySManny
10
5 days ago

It’s all fun and games until ya little cousin grabs it.

rostov007
6
5 days ago

/r/unnecessaryexpositioninthetitle

sevenpoints
6
5 days ago

I'm leaving to attend a funeral in twenty minutes so thanks for the intrusive thought I'll be having while I'm there.

WorkHardBetter
4
5 days ago

I initially read that as "buffet" and it made everything better.

xSkwodd
4
5 days ago

Same thing with a circumcision.

hiimcoleman
3
5 days ago

My word

megustachef
3
5 days ago

Fuck that, I'm just getting in the casket with fam. Better off that way anyway. See ya suckers later.

SideShowBob36
3
5 days ago

That bouquet is mine you bitch!

Nana_PiG
2
5 days ago

Cyanide and Happiness made an animation about this, guess who got the bouquet?

princessELAY
2
5 days ago
eaglessoar
2
5 days ago

i better start working on my ups, box jumps here i come (/s)

Shttyktty
2
5 days ago

I’d love to see someone throw a heavy casket spray into a group of people.

Ghosterzz999
2
5 days ago

Cyanide And Happiness joke

xmarsbarso
1
5 days ago

I’m looking for more of a How High situation, it doesn’t just have to be weed plants, though they are encouraged. Mix my ashes with soil and everyone gets to take home a plant, but if you kill it I haunt you for life.

maxschreck616
1
5 days ago

As if anyone is coming to my funeral.

deadlast5
1
5 days ago

Afterlife goals.

kaykiki93
1
5 days ago

Excellent joke well done

fpcoffee
1
5 days ago
taostudent2019
1
5 days ago

Sorry, the bell tolls for thee.

Erotic_FriendFiction
1
5 days ago

I'll slide tackle a bitch. Lord take ME now!

TurkishGooble
1
5 days ago

I’d do this but I’m lucky to have a damn casket

anne_frankenstein451
1
5 days ago

Shamelessly stolen from futurama

musicforlife344
1
5 days ago

Definitely stealing this idea

radest_boi
1
5 days ago

*of tnt

NapaofBeer
1
5 days ago

use the wreath, it will be like ring toss

Blackpiccolo
1
5 days ago

Shit if I’m there imma Randy Moss that bitch!

JHushen12
1
5 days ago

90% sure this is from cyanide and happiness.. at least.

RedditDude112
1
5 days ago

Just like that CaH Skit.

DoTheElectricEel
1
5 days ago

We do this at dissertations. The person defending throws their notes into the air and whoever catches it is the next person to graduate.

skilless14
1
5 days ago

Thats.. that's a great idea

Creative_NotCreative
1
5 days ago

I hope I catch it!

Increth
1
5 days ago

When u see this exact post but on whitepeoplehumor lol

Mon0_95
1
5 days ago

This reminds me of that one Cyanide and Happiness short at the funeral

Swing_Top
1
5 days ago

Futurama anyone?

TishtheBish
1
5 days ago

Hell no. Nobody is grabbing that. What if somebody caught it from reflex and got mad?

UltraLord_Sheen
1
5 days ago

(During garter toss) Jumps out of way

(During funeral boquet toss) OBJ

TerrificFrogg
1
5 days ago

We can't afford bouquet

imtinyricketc
1
5 days ago

Plot for Final Destination reboot.

rtjl86
1
5 days ago

Not a great title to be honest

commanderbat
1
5 days ago

At your funeral I will sing a requiem

SkyFox0516
1
5 days ago

Hahaha yessss

SirQuincy7
1
5 days ago

A Legend

overgamer1
1
5 days ago

This is just from the cyanide and happiness video on YouTube

https://youtu.be/TU-Z4uPnFeg

Here’s the link to the original joke

XD_isdead
1
5 days ago

Same

djmoney50d
1
5 days ago

Reminds me of this Cyanide and Happiness short

https://youtu.be/TU-Z4uPnFeg

TheSmashersReddit
1
5 days ago

This was a cyanide and happiness sketch.

0xBA11
1
5 days ago

I first heard this joke from Simon Munnery:

I went to a funeral the other day. Caught the wreath

His latest Edinburgh show was called "The Wreath", which was about where jokes come from, who owns a joke, if in fact they could even be owned

Qawmaster25
1
5 days ago

A Cyanide and happiness short

K-Jonatan-B
1
5 days ago

Hmhm! :)

KinkyBADom
1
5 days ago

Damn I guess I caught it cuz I’m dying laughing

_D0llFace_
1
5 days ago

All the millenials and Gen X'ers in the crowd: dives to catch it

casper4671
1
5 days ago

Lmfaoooooooo....good one!!!

left8947
1
5 days ago

This the first blackpeopletwitter post i’ve seen in light mode

hiimcoleman
1
5 days ago

I like being original

keenanr3
1
5 days ago

Asking for someone else but how the FUCK am I gonna grab MY OWN flowers OFF MY casket IF I AM DEAD?

Kirkeee
1
5 days ago

Comedian Simon Munnery wrote a show around writing this joke and then finding out that others had come up with the same joke independently. It is interesting that it keeps happening.

AjimusMaximus
0
5 days ago

At my friends funeral, we're gonna have tazer guns for everyone and 2 pistols. The last two standing has to have a mexican standoff and whoever is left takes what they want. There won't be just one funeral that day.

Andi42
0
5 days ago

*is

DiaperPartying
0
5 days ago

Your title is fucking retarded.

hiimcoleman
1
5 days ago

Rude